Gwand-ma being a norty gwammawartzi

Dis morning, Bernie was sound asleep in his own speshul place to go to sleep which is wight on top of his Mummy when suddenly Gwand-ma come in and take a picture.
Just because Bernie is a famous pussy cat, evewybody wants a pikcha of Bernie.
Bernie catfiscate dat camewa and get dat pikcha.
Here it is:




Bernie wake up and say "Go away Gwand-ma! You must not wake up my Mummy"
and she take a pikcha of dat too.
You can see how cwanky Bernie is. Bernie works vewy hard to take dood care of his Mummy.

Bernie twick norty Gwand-ma

Today my Mummy and my Gwand-ma be outside planting some litta flowers in de garden.
My Gwand-ma get de hose an she spway poor Bernie wif water. Bernie wun away but dat vewy norty Gwand-ma chase Bernie wif dat hose and she larfin.
But Bernie twick dat norty Gwand-ma. Bernie wun and stand unnerneaf de close line where dere be lots of close dat is dwy. Gwand-ma do not want to get dem wet again so she cannot spway Bernie dere. Bernie know dat. Bernie clever. So dat how Bernie twick norty bad Gwand-ma.

hot days and lots of fings

It be a hot day today and Bernie and Heidi was just sittin awound.
Gwand-ma twyin to do lots of fings and she say Bernie can help.
Oh cat! (Wemember dat wot pussy cats say instead of 'Oh boy')Bernie wemember dat he did not wite his blog so he go and do dat. He say "But Gwand-ma Bernie is witin his blog!"
Oh cat! It too hot to do fings but when Bernie finished his blog, Bernie be dood and go out on de fwont vewandah in case someone needs a butler.
Dat how Bernie help.
Bernie is such a vewy dood helpin pussy cat.
My Katy tell me a dood idea. Next time Gwand-ma mop dat floor, Bernie twy and look weal cute like Heidi and den maybe Gwand-ma leave our din dins bowl somewhere dood so we can get it.
Luv fwom Bernie

Cleaning dat kitchen floor.

Whenever Gwand-ma clean dat kitchen floor, she take away our din dins bowl and our litta place mat wot marks de place where we has our din dins.
Bernie goes to have a litta snack cos he is hungwy and dere is no din dins bowl dere.
Poor ol Bernie nearly starve to deaf while Gwand-ma mop dat kitchen floor.
It take a whole half a hour.
Oh boy! Bernie wite a letta to someone and complain about dat.
Maybe my Katy tell me what Bernie do about dat.
Luv fwom Bernie

Nice dindins

My Gwand-ma buy nice din dins and sumtimes we has a litta taste but we does not eat it all up at once.
It getting warm here and Bernie and Heidi needs to get some of deir fur off. We be glad when it got off.
Luv fwom Bernie

Gwand-ma home

Fank goodness my Gwand-ma is home an Bernie can use her puter.
Also Gwand-ma say dat Bernie lose weight while she away bisiting my dood fwend Brrrrr.
Dat because my Mummy and my Gwand-da does not know what pussy cat din dins to buy for us and dey buy yukkie stuff so Bernie and litta Heidi getting skinny.
Of course Bernie do not wowwy about hisself. No, Bernie is not a gweedy pussy cat. But Bernie is vewy wowwied about dat dear litta Heidi. She orlweady bees litta. She do not need to get littawer.
Me asked my Gwand-ma to please buy some nice din dins for litta Heidi. Bernie might just have a litta taste cos Bernie is de offishul tasting pussy cat.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Bernie the Prisoner

Today my Mummy did a tewwible fing to her litta Bernie.

Bernie went in to Mummy's bedwoom to hab bweakfast wif her, we had begemite on toast. I like to lick up de begemite, but I don't like the toast. Then I curled up on my Mummy's beddy bies to hab a nap afta bweakfast, but my Mummy had to go to school and wook after dose pengwins* what is in kindergarten and guess wot she did!

She CLOSED HER DOOR!

Poor Bernie was stuck inside de bedwoom ALL DAY! I meowed and meowed and said 'oh Mummy pwease wet me out!' but my Mummy didn't hear me.

And DEN! She didn't come home for a bewy bewy wong time! I am gwad she still had some of dat toast left ova so I could have a snack during de day.

I was a good Litta Bernie doe, and I didn't go to the toilet in my Mummy's woom because I know that would make my mummy sad. She was bewy bewy sowwee when she came home, and she gave me some dood din dins and we is fwiends again now. But dat was bewy bewy scawy!

(*note from Mummy - the kindergarten children walk like penguins when I teach them so I call them my penguins)