Playing twicks on mummy

Heehee hee. Today my gwand da and me pwayed a twick on my mummy! Gwand da was dwiving dat car what doesn't make any noise and I camed out to buttle dem in when dey stopped dat car. But I pwetended dat I didn't hear dat car and I went and I sat on the woad in fwont of dat car.

Den Gwand da dwove over and he made a SKWAAASH noise and my mummy gotted angwy at him!

Den she got out of dat car and she went awound to the back and I was lying dere, pwetending I was skwashed! Hehee. My Mummy got such a fwight!

Me and Gwand da are bewy funny and we is still laffing about it now.

Hee hee hee

What I do today

My Gwand-ma say to me"What are you going to write in your blog today Mr. Bern? What have you been doing today?"
Bernie has to fink about dat.
First me go and have a litta snack cos dat always helps pussy cats to fink about fings.
Den me lies down in de middle of de lounge woom floor for a long fink.
Me finking and finking and finking.
Den me sit up in a sphinx way lookin at de fwont door.
Me finking and finking and finking.
But den me forgot what me was finking about.
Pussy cats are not vewy dood at finking.
Me look all awound and me twitch my ears and me look awound again but me do not wemember what me finking about.
Oh Bovver!
Me can hear dat washing machine going prrrrrrr prrrrrr prrrrr.
It fink it is a pussy cat.
Just den me look acwoss and me can see my dindins plate. Ah dat a dood idea! Me go and have some more dindins.
Luv fwom Bernie

A noo visitor

Today Bernie be a vewy important butler cos we got a noo visitor.
It be de noo person wot comes to be our noo farver sumfink cos Farver Phil is going to wetire like my Gwand-da.
It be Farver Simon.
Bernie waiting at de fwont door to bwing him in but guess what? Him go wound de back wif Farver Phil. Dat wot Farver Phil always do.
Bovver.
Bernie waiting dere for nuffing.
But when Aunty Mavis going home after din dins, Bernie take her out de fwont door like a pwoper butler.
Bernie wun down de fwont parf and show her where to go to her car.
Now Bernie is happy cos he can be a pwoper butler.
Luv fwom Bernie

Bernie is a Legend

My Mummy is vewy pwoud of Bernie. She say "Bernie you are a legend"
Bernie go into dat ensuite cos his Mummy gone in dere. My Mummy gone to de human litter and Bernie want to go to de kitty litter. But Bernie cannot find a kitty litter. Bernie walkin awound wif him legs cwossed and saying Miaow which means "Oooh me can't find de kitty litter"
My Mummy say "You can use de dwain Mr Bern." So Bernie do his wee down de dwain. My Mummy say "OOh Bernie you are so clever, you are a legend. Bernie twy to cover it up by skwatching on de litta wound dwain but dat don't work so my Mummy pour some water and wash it down de dwain.
Bernie is a vewy clever wefined hygenic  house twained cat.
Luv fwom Bernie

A squweaming fwoggie

Yesserday after Bernie wite his blog, me go outside and sitting on de back vewandah.
Just den Heidi find a litta fwoggie. It be one of dem squweaming fwoggies. When dey get a big fwight dey squweam vewy loud.
Heidi wanted to play wif it but Bernie know dat we should not hurt dem litta fwoggies cos dem be speshul Austwalian  native fwoggies so Bernie sit between dat fwoggie and Heidi. Dat poor litta fwoggie still squeaming and den my Gwand-ma hear it and she come wunning out and call my Gwand-da and my Mummy. Dem get lights and dat poor litta fwoggie jump on de wire fence wot is dere for de sweet peas to climb up.
It hanging on vewy tight and de light get in it litta shiny eyes so it too fwightened to move. My Mummy get a big jar and she get dat litta fwoggie and she take it away somewhere nice and safe so Heidi will not find it.
It vewy cute. My Mummy ask it if she can take a litta pickcha of it and it say yes and it say sanks you to my Mummy cos she wescue it.
Today be my Gwand-da birfday and we sings Happy Birfday to him.
Luv fwom Bernie

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Late blog

Oh dear,
It be vewy late and me did not wite my blog.
Me was vewy busy today back on butler duty.
Me learned a noo fing about butlers.
De vewy best polite butlers does not wun in de house in fwont of the people what is coming in.
De vewy best politest butlers stands back and waits for dem peoples to go in first.
Now dat what Bernie do dese days.
Bernie is de vewy best butler in de world.
Soon Bernie might get a medal for bein a dood butler.
But how can Bernie pin on a medal?
It will hurt if Bernie has to stick it in him skin.
Oh dear how can Bernie wear his medal for bein a dood butler?
Now me vewy wowwied about dat.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Wasted time

Bovver! Me wasted all dat time sitting on dat  'puter mouse waiting for it to hatch into a mousie and now my Katy tell me it is not a egg.
Miaowmmmph!
Bernie is having twouble findin somewhere to sit. Today me was just going to sleep snuggled up on Gwand-da shoe which is a vewy nice comfy place to sleep and Gwand-da say "Hey Bernie get off my shoe I need to put it on"
Dat a wude fing to say when a poor pussy is twying to have a dood sleep.
Den today Bernie was twying to talk to evewybody about all sorts of fings and dey keep saying "What do you want Mr Bern?"  Then someone say "Where is Heidi?" and someone else say "Oh she is sensible, she is outside sleeping under a bush where it is nice and cool"
But Bernie can't go outside and sleep unner dat bush cos Bernie is twying to help evewybody do dat packing so we can move to our nice noo house.
I wish people would know dat Bernie is a dood helping pussy cat.
Luv fwom Bernie