Friday, 25 April 2014

A new Internet fwend for Bernie

Today my Gwand-da tell me dat my Hughie and my Katie has got a new pussy cat. Him name is a funny name what Bernie twy to say but me can't. Gwand-da say me can call him Q for short so me call him Qie cos we always has names ending wif "ie" like Hughie and Katie and Bernie. Except Jaffa. Maybe me need to call Jaffa "Jaffie" so she can be de same. Bernie will ask her tomowwoww.
Now me just needs to find out my new fwend email addwess so me can invite him to be a fwend on Bernie Facebook.
Luv fwom Bernie

No Easter eggs for Bernie

Dat Easter Bunny do not bwing any Easter Eggs for Bernie.
Oh No! Wemember when Bernie catch a bunny and bwing it home for dindins? Dat must have been de Easter Bunny or maybe it was de Easter Bunny's fwend. Now Bernie do not get Easter Eggs. Oh No Oh No Oh why did Bernie get a Bunny?
Silly Bernie.
Now me never get any Easter Eggs.
Hmmmph! Dat do not matter. Me do not like Easter eggs. Bunny taste much nicer dan Easter Eggs.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 17 April 2014


Today what was weally yesserday we had some visitors. Dem was Aunty Debbie what visited us before and a gweat gwandfather what did not visit us before.
Him walk vewy slow wif two walking sticks what is even bigger dan Gwand-ma walking sticks.
Dat Gweat gwandfather be my Gwand-ma Daddy,
Wow dat vewy stwange. Bernie wonder where is dat gweat gwand-father Daddy or Mummy. Will dem come to visit and have fwee walking sticks?
Jaffa get a fwight and she stay in our Mummy bedwoom.
She only come out when dem gone home.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 11 April 2014

Waining and waining

Lots of wain come. We has to turn off our waterwing system. Jaffa outside and when she come in she wet.
Silly Jaffa. Bernie is a clever pussy cat. Me do not go outside in de wain.
Me has to tell my Katy a sumfing. Dat monster wot was Gwand-ma has a towel on her head to stop de perspirwation fwom getting in her eyes.
My Mummy was teaching de childwen at de school to do a Easter Pageant. Bernie do not know what dat is. Gwand-ma do lots of sewing and even Aunty Mavis take some sewing home and do it on her machine. Dem dood ladies make lots of costumes for dem childwen.
Me fink a Easter Pageant is when dem childwen wears funny cloves.
Now Bernie has to go and have a dood sleep cos me tiwed.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 7 April 2014

Stwange Monster in de Garden

Yesserday dere was a stwange monster in our garden. It be doing some gardening.
Bernie wun to my Mummy and say "Miaow Mew Miaow" Dat means "Dere is a stwange monster in our garden and it doing some gardening" My Mummy say "Where" and Bernie say "Mow" wot means "Near our sweet peas garden".
My Mummy say "That isn't a strange monster. That is Grand-ma with her knee pads and hat on".
Bernie wun to dat stwange monster wot was kneeling down and putting little sweet pea plants in de garden. Dem was ones wot gwew demselves outside de garden. Bernie wun up to dat stwange monster and sniff it bum. Yes dat is Gwand-ma bum.
Ha ha ha dat a funny joke. Bernie fink Gwand-ma be a stwange monster.
Ha ha ha hee ha.
My Mummy take a pikcha of dat stwange monster called Gwand-ma.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Thursday, 3 April 2014

It waining

Gwand-da came home and den him gone to see anuvver human vet and now it waining.
Jaffa wun in and out de cat door.
First she go out de cat door in de laundwy and when she sees de wain she wun back inside. Den she go out de cat door in de family woom and she find out dat it is waining out dere too.
She wun inside stwaight away and she say to Bernie "Oh you know what Bernie? It is raining out the laundry door and it is raining out that door too."
Bernie say "Of course little Jaffa. If it is waining den it be waining out all de doors."
Jaffa say "Well it is not raining out the front door" so Bernie twy to explain dat it not waining outside the fwont door cos we got a vewandah dere. Oh it so hard to explain fings to pussy cats.
Bernie say "Just stay inside little Jaffa and find somewhere nice and warm and dwy and have a little sleep."
Dat what Bernie do now.
Luv fwom Bernie