Friday, 31 August 2012

Peoples gone somwhere

Today peoples be going places. Bernie had to sit outside and wait in de cold all day for when dem comes home so me can be de dood butler.
And nobody take any nice pikchas of de garden for Bernie blog.
Miaowmmpph!
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 30 August 2012

cleaning up

Today me just help my Mummy to clean up de bedwoom what is weally my Mummy's bedwoom and Bernie's bedwoom.
Den we weeding de garden and putting dat dwy gwass on it. Dat make it look vewy neat.
Tomowwow we take a pikcha of de pwetty garden and Bernie put it on his blog.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Clever Mummy

Today my clever and bootfiful Mummy wemember where she put some nice chookie so Bernie allowed to have some.
Me so glad me got such a luvly Mummy.
Den tonight a norty bad owange cat come and fight wif Bernie. It a big tiger cos it vewy big.
Bernie fight and fight cos dis is Bernie house and dat big owange cat not allowed to come here.
Den my Mummy come and tell it to go away and do not hurt Bernie and den she give Bernie a big cuddle.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

A vewy boooowing day

Today is a vewy boring day. First evewybody go away somewhere. Den dey come home and Aunty Mavis come. Den dey just sitting dere talking and talking and talking.
And me wondewing how come Gwand-da fink little Bernie talk a lot..
Me had a sleep on Gwand-ma lap for a little while.
Den my Mummy and my Gwand-ma go to the shops and dey supposed to get chookie for Bernie but now dem come home and dey do not get it.
Dem is soooo forgetful.
Hmmmm Me has to send dem a email and wemind dem.
Dat might work
Me send a email to say "Buy lots of chookie for Bernie"
Or maybe me can find out how to buy dat chookie on line.
But me need to find out de password for de Paypal account.
Oh dear dat a pwoblem. Bernie does not have a cwedit card or a paypal account.
Bernie does not even have any money.
Oh no .
How me going to get some nice chookie to eat?
Luv fwom cwanky Bernie

Monday, 27 August 2012

OH no it boil over

Whenever someone put some fing on de stove to cook, Bernie sit dere and watch it. Me dood at dat.
Tonight my Gwand-ma put some fings on de stove to boil and she gone away but Bernie was sound asleep on Aunty Kim's new Pussy cat tea towels and me did not know it boiled over until my Mummy went and saw it.
Oh No! Bernie should be watching it.
But we all helped to clean it up.
Gwand-ma was boiling de dish cloffs to clean dem.
Wow  we got bootiful new two lips in our garden.
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 26 August 2012

More chookie

My Gwand-da buy anuvver chookie and Bernie can smell it but nobody will let Bernie eat it.
Oh Miaow ow ow ngow.
Dat exactly de fing what Bernie say when he wishes someone would give him some of dat chookie.
Dis morning Aunty Mavis come and visit but Bernie do not get a cuddle. Me forgot.
Dis afternoon we all go out to do fwont garden and weed one of de pwetty gardens. Den we put stuff on it to stop more weeds gwowing. Me do not know how de weeds know dat dem is not supposed to gwow dere when dat stuff on it. It look like dwy gwass.
Now my Mummy gone somewhere and we not allowed to have dindins til she come home. Bernie stand at dat fwont door and miaow weal loud to call her home so we can have dindins and Bernie can have some chookie but she do not come.
Luv fwom hungwy Bernie

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Dat wobber came again

Dat norty wobber what eat all our chicken came again.
Bernie was sitting near de fwidge asking for some chicken for a little snack and Gwand-da looked in de fwidge and dere was no chicken in dere.
Gwand-da say "There is no chicken in there! The naughty robber must have come and eaten it all again. Look Bernie!" and Gwand-da pick Bernie up and show him in de fwidge. It twue. Dere was no chicken in de fwidge. Me wish me could catch dat norty wobber and bite him on de bum.
My Aunty Kim came to visit.  Bernie was sitting outside on de back patio and Bernie wanted to come in de door. Evewybody tell Bernie to go in de cat door. Dat embawwassing! Bernie do not want his Aunty Kim to see him coming in de cat door.  Bernie wait until she not looking den me sneak in de cat door. Den me go to my Aunty Kim for a cuddle.
Den me sneak out de cat door and wait at de door again so Aunty Kim will not n otice dat bernie must have come in de cat door.
Den me go wound to my Mummy bedwoom and go in de door at her woom. Bernie is allowed to go in dat door cos dat is Bernie woom too.
Now my Gwand-0da is going to get lots of chinese dindins for us tonight. Bernie like chinese dindins like his Aunty Lily. Bernie is soon going to learn how to use chopsticks.
Luv fwom Bernie'

Friday, 24 August 2012

Nearly locked in de shower

Bernie likes to lick some water fwom de floor in de shower when someone has finsihed having deir shower.
Gwand-da had a shower and him leave lots of nice water on de floor so Gwand-ma let Bernie go in de shower and lick some of dat water.  BUT de door slam shut. Gwand-ma was cleanin her tooths so Bernie had to wait until she finished  before she open dat door and let bernie out.
Phew! Dat was close. Me did not want to get left in dat shower all day while my Gwand-da and my Gwand-ma goes to Wagga to take my Gwand-da to de hospital and while my Mummy gone to school.
Me was a vewy wowwied pussy cat.
We got some more pwetty flowows coming in our garden. First we got lots of  dem little blue flowows called gwape higher sins and den we got lots of yellow flowows called daffy dillys and now we getting wed flowows called two lips.
Oh and me forgot. We gots hundweds of dem bootiful little flowows called pansies.
We is getting a vewy pwetty garden.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 23 August 2012

It vewy embawwassing

Oh No! A sticky label come off de peanut butter and stick on Bernie tail.
Bernie walking awound wif dat Peanut butter sticky label stuck to my bootiful tail.
Evewybody laugh and say "Ooh here comes the peanut butter"
Gwand-ma say "Come here peanut butter. I want to spread you on my toast"
Bernie say Miaowow" what means "I am not peanut butter. I am just a pussy cat called Bernie"
Den Gwand-da say "Have you got any vegemite?" and he twy to put Bernie back in de pantwy. But Bernie say "Oh Miaow miaow. Please do not be mean to Bernie"
But den my Mummy come and say "Oh Bernie you have a label stuck on your tail like a flag" and she get it off for Bernie so peoples do not fink Bernie is de peanut butter.
Luv fwom Bernie

More chook-a-loo to eat

My Gwand-ma is my favouwite person cos she buy more yummy chookie for little Bernie to eat.
Now evewybody just has to wemember to give Bernie some. But me miaow weal loud and wemind dem.
Some mans come and put more lights in our house. Now we can see better. Dem put a light near where Bernie eat him dindins. Dat a vewy important place. Me needs to see my dindins and peoples needs to see where to put Bernie dindins.
So now peoples can see when Bernie needs more dindins.
It waining lots and lots today. When Bernie go outside to be de butler me get wet.
Luv fwom wet Bernie

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Me and Gwand-da

JUst me and gwand-da here today.
My Mummy is at school teaching de childwen
Some of dem is my fwends on facebook.
One day me is going to sneak in my Mummy bedwoom and look on her desk and find de answers to de homework and me will put it on my facebook so my fwends can see it. Hee Heee. Dat will twick my Mummy.
Me did not do anyfing today just snooze and sometimes chat to my Gwand-da.
Me is talking to him again.
Me is a dood pussy cat.
Me does not hold a gwudge.
Especially since me had pea and ham soup for lunch.
Bernie loves pea and ham soup.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Turned off de computer

Today Gwand-ma go somewhere and turn off her 'puter so how can little Bernie wite him blog?
Me had to wait until she come home and turn it on to see her emails and den when she gone to get a cup of tea, Bernie sneak in and do my blog.
Me did not do vewy much today. Me watch dem birdies and me nearly forgot again and go outside to catch dem but Gwand-ma weminded me not to, so me come back inside.
But Gwand-ma tell me a sekwet.
One day we might get annuvver little kitten for Bernie to take care of because Heidi gone away and we do not know if she is going to come home ad Bernie is lonely when evewybody go somewhere all day. Bernie need someone to keep him company and a cute little kitten what Bernie can be a Daddy for is a dood idea.
But it a sekwet.
Luv fwom Bernie


Monday, 20 August 2012

Cleaning de kitchen floor

Dis morning Bernie went out his cat door and was just pwetending to stalk one of de little birdies what comes and eats its din dins near our back patio when Gwand-ma come and open de blind and look out.
Bernie stop stwaight away cos me was only pwetending. Me do not weally stalk dem little birdies.

Today Gwand-ma was cleaning de kitchen floor. Lucky Bernie notice before it too late. My Gwand-ma always take my dindins away and she get me a clean pussy cat bowl and she wash my place mat.
But she take it away to do dat while she clean de floor. Poor Bernie cannot get any dindins for about a whole quarter of a hour.
Me nearly starve to deaf.
Lucky me notice dat she taking it away and me wun up and eat de bits of my dindins what spilled out of de bowl so me has somefing in my little tummy while me wait for evewy fing to be fixed.
Den me go and sit on de mast and watch while dat blue and white mop go swish swish on de floor and make it clean and shiny.
It is a funny blue and white tongue on a long stick. Me twy to catch it and have a look but me can't catch it.
Oh well!
Luv fwom Bernie


Sunday, 19 August 2012

More plantings

Today we plant lots more twees and woses and fings. Now our garden is turning into a dood garden.
Bernie help because me sit and watch carefully so me learn how to do it and so me can make sure dat evewy one put dem twees in de wight place.
Evewy twee has a dwink of water wif bwown fishy smelly stuff in it what Gwand-ma say dem plants likes to dwink. Dem plants is clever plants because dey knows dat fishy fings is dood to eat. Bernie likes to eat fishy fings too.
And guess what! Some weally big birdies called a chook and a wooster came to visit our place.
Dem lives acwoss de woad but dey come and visit us.
Bernie do not twy to catch dem. Bernie is dood.
Me only like to eat chookie what is in a plastic bag.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Peoples needs to know sumfing

Bernie is still not talking to Gwand-da. Me just sit dere and have a little snooze.
Dis morning me went outside and watch my little birdie fwend when she came to eat dindins in our garden wot is not a dood garden yet but it will be one day.
That little birdie was not fwightened of Bernie. She just hop awound and show Bernie how she can fly and flutter.
When Gwand-ma open de door, Bernie go inside cos it cold out dere.
Bernie was sitting on Gwand-da shoes and Gwand-da want to put dem on.
Gwand-da say, "I want to put my shoes on now Bernie" so Bernie lean wight over dem and get comfable having a little west on dem.
Dat is important you know.
If Bernie wants to have a west on someone's shoes, den dat is de important fing. Someone shoud not take shoes away fwom Bernie when he is westing on dem.
Also Bernie is now back to being de butler in dis house. When me hears a car come to dis new house, me wun outside fwough de laundwy cat door and me wun awound to de fwont and me buttle dem inside de house.
Luv fwom dood butler shoes westing on Bernie


Friday, 17 August 2012

Not speaking to Gwand-da

Yesserday Gwand-da say Bernie talk too much so today Bernie not speaking to Gwand-da.
Gwand-da come into de kitchen but Bernie is sitting on de couch in de family woom.
Me does not even say hello to Gwand-da.
Gwand-da walk past  de couch and say hello to Bernie so Bernie just say "Ma" which mean "Hello but me not talkin to you"
All morning me not say anyfing else. Me do not even sing wif de bong bong clock.
Now Gwand-da will wonder what is happening.
Love fwom Bernie

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Poor little Bernie

Today evewybody is wousing at Bernie.
Me did not do anyfing naughty just a little wee on my Mummy carpet but it nice clean wee.
Den just because me twying to talk to Gwand-da all de time and tell him all de news, Gwand-da tell Bernie to stop talking and be quiet or he  do somefing what was big howwible words what Bernie do not understand.
Bernie is such a dood dood pussy cat and me is a vewy fwendly pussy cat what chat to evewybody so why do people wouse at poor little Bernie?
Me vewy sad.
Luv fwom sad Bernie

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

What sort of day?

Evewybody wush out vewy quickly dis morning. Bernie do not know where dey go.
Peoples do not tell Bernie where dey going. Dat a nuisance. If someone wings up on de tellems phone and ask Bernie where someone is, den how can Bernie tellems  on de tellems phone if dey do not tellems Bernie?
Oh well  Bernie cannot answer de phone anyway so dat lucky.
We has got some cooked chook in our fwidge. Dat vewy dood. Bernie likes it when dey get a cooked chook for dindins  because dey do not finish it all and dey put it in de fwidge. Den Bernie wait in de kitchen and when my Gwand-da comes into de kitchen Bernie stands near de fwidge and say a vewy sweet Miaow what means "May I have some of dat yummy chicken please?" And Gwand-da say "Oh you are a very good pussy for asking so politely" and he gives Bernie some.
Den a few minutes later when my Mummy comes into de Kitchen, Bernie stand near de fwidge and say a vewy sweet Miaow what means "May I have some of dat yummy chicken please?" and so my Mummy say  "Oh you are a very good pussy for asking so politely" and  she gives Bernie some.
Den a few minutes later when my Gwand-ma comes into de Kitchen, Bernie stand near de fwidge and say a vewy sweet Miaow what means "May I have some of dat yummy chicken please?" and so my Gwand-ma say "Oh you are a very good pussy for asking so politely" and she gives Bernie some.
Den a little while later when my Gwand-da comes into de kitchen Bernie stands near de fwidge and say a vewy sweet Miaow what means "May I have some of dat yummy chicken please?" And Gwand-da say "Oh you are a very good pussy for asking so politely" and he gives Bernie some.
Den a few minutes later when my Mummy comes into de Kitchen, Bernie stand near de fwidge and say a vewy sweet Miaow what means "May I have some of dat yummy chicken please?" and so my Mummy say  "Oh you are a very good pussy for asking so politely" and  she gives Bernie some.
Den a few minutes later when my Gwand-ma comes into de Kitchen, Bernie stand near de fwidge and say a vewy sweet Miaow what means "May I have some of dat yummy chicken please?" and so my Gwand-ma say "Oh you are a very good pussy for asking so politely" and she gives Bernie some.
Den a few minutes later someone comes into de kitchen and say "I think I will have a chicken sandwich for lunch" and dey get de chicken out and dey say "Oh who ate all the chicken?"  and bernie say a vewy indignant Miaow what means "Fancy dat. A wobber came and eat all our chicken"
Luv fwom Bernie




Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Tidy Mummy's bedwoom

Today Bernie was helping his Mummy to tidy up de study part of her bedwoom. She had lots and lots of books dere what she use to make dood lessons for her childwen.
Bernie twy to put dem back on de shelf in de wight place but dem too heavy. So Bernie bite dem. But dey get wipped. Oh No!
Den a ball of wool fwom my Mummy knitting fall on de floor.
Bernie say "Miaow" what means "You is a naughty ball of wool. Get back in de knitting bag". But it do not get back in. So Bernie bite it and it twy to wun away. Den it put its long woolly self all over de place. It go under de bed and Bernie chase it and bwing it out but it go wound de chair so Bernie chase it under de chair and it woll under de desk. What a naughty ball of wool.
Den me hide behind de desk and wait to pounce on it. Just den my Mummy come and say "What happened? How did this wool get everywhere?" and Bernie say "Miaow" what means "It is a naughty ball of wool what wolled evewywhere" but my Mummy pick it up and she say "Oooh it is all soggy! Have you been chewing it Bernie?"
Bernie say "Miaow" what means "Me twy to catch it" but my Mummy say "Well you did try to be a good pussy cat but in future leave the wool alone because I do not like soggy wool."
OH dear. And Bernie is such a dood wool catching pussy cat.
'Luv fwom dood wool chasing Bernie.

Monday, 13 August 2012

Fixing de parfs

Today we fix some parfs so dey can get made soon. Bernie watch carefully so me know how to do dat.
My Mummy got a big pink parcel fwom our vewy dood fwend called Seher. It got lots of Bernie's favouwite dindins in it and some knitting books and some other fings.
Bernie has to tell his Mummy to huwwy up and make all dem dindins so Bernie can eat dem up before dem gets stale.
Dat is vewy important about dindins. You must not let your dindins get stale.
My Gwand-da and my Gwand-ma were pulling weeds out of our new lawn. Dey are going to teach Bernie how to get weeds out wif my little paws so Bernie can help. First me has to learn which ones is de weeds. Dat is a vewy hard fing to learn. My Mummy would not be vewy happy if Bernie pulled out all her tulips and daffy dillies.  Me will not pull out de woses because dem is pwickly.
Soon Bernie will know all de flowers in our garden and if it is not a flower it will be a weed and Bernie will pull it out.
Bernie is vewy clever.
Luv fwom Clever Flower Knowing and weed pulling Bernie.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Vewy nice dindins fwom my dood fwend Seher

My dood fwend Seher send us some litta packets wif dindins in dem. My Mummy make dat dindins and Bernie helped.
First my Gwand-ma put dat fwozen chicken in de micwowave to thaw out. My Gwand-ma say "Tell me when it is thawed out please Bernie" and she go to do some works for my Unca Tim on de 'puter.
Den Bernie say "Miaow" but my Gwand-da say "Liar liar Your pants are on fire" because him say dat de micwowave is not finished. Dat silly. Bernie do not wear pants.
So Bernie wait. Me sit on de bench and me watch dat chicken going wound and wound in de micwowave. Den de micwowave go 'bing' and den Bernie say Miaow again and my Mummy say someone has to cut up dat chicken while she go to de shop and buy some other things to put in it.
Bernie say "Miaow" what means "Bernie will cut it up" but Gwand-da come and he cut it up but dat is OK because he give some to Bernie to taste and make sure it is dood chicken.
Den my Mummy make dat vewy nice dindins what my vewy dood fwend called Seher send and it taste vewy nice and Bernie is allowed to have a little bit. (Bernie has lots of little bits. Me get some fwom my Mummy and some fwom my Gwand-ma and some fwom my Gwand-da.)
Luv fwom Bernie


More twees

Today we planting more twees.
Den my Mummy got a fing what makes water come out vewy fast and she clean Aunty Mavis's mower and den she clean de fwont vewandah.
Oh Cat! Bernie wun away fast when he see dat water fing. It like a hose but dat water come out much faster.
Bernie do not like fings what has water coming out of dem.
Bernie loves all de twees. Dem looks vewy nice. Bernie is vewy happy because we are getting a vewy nice garden.
Soon it will be dood fun to walk along de parfs and look at our garden.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Gardening day

Today we all twying to plant twees in our garden.
Bernie got left inside de house.
Bernie was miaowing and miaowing to get someone to come and open dat door so me could go out and help evewybody in de garden but dem all too busy.
Bovver!
Poor Bernie had to go out de cat door and walk awound.
Bernie was vewy glad dat he wemembered about dat cat door.
My Mummy and my Gwand-da and my Gwand-ma did some weeding in de garden too. Bernie sit dere to make sure dey do not pull out any Pansies or Tulips or Daffy dillys.
Luv fwom busy gardening Barnie



Thursday, 9 August 2012

Dat birdie do not like our seeds

We put lots of seeds dere for our birdie fwend but him do not like dem. He keeps eating de weed seeds out of de gwound. Gwand-ma say he is a dood birdie cause of he eat de weed seeds den dey will not gwow in our garden.
Den Gwand-da and Gwand-ma went away all day and my Mummy went away and come back and went away and come back and went away and come back and de postman come and de phone wing and all sorts of fings and den my Mummy gone away to a meeting and Gwand-da and Gwand-ma come home and Bernie is de butler again and me buttle dem inside.
And it wained and watered our new garden.
Luv fwom Bernie
PS It wet de clothes on de line. Oh Bovver. Me twy to get dem off but me can't weach.

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Birdie dindins

Evewy morning Bernie sit in de family woom and look out de window at a speshul litta birdie what always come and get seeds out of de gwound at our place.
Him eat dem seeds for him dindins.
Gwand-ma put dat blind up a litta bit so Bernie can see under it.
Bernie is vewy dood.
Me do not go out de cat door and twy to catch dat litta birdie. Me just sit and watch him.
Hmmmm maybe him is a girl birdie. How can Bernie find out if him is a girl birdie?
Today my Gwand-ma buy a big box of speshul birdie seeds so we can put some on de gwound for my dear litta birdie fwend what does not even know about Bernie.
My litta birdie fwend do not know about Bernie cos she cannot see fwough de glass so she cannot see Bernie watching her.
She just hop hop quickly and flit her litta tail and put her litta head up and down vewy quick and pick up seeds. Soon dere be no more seeds left in dat gwound and my litta birdie fwend will go somewhere else so dat why Gwand-ma buy dem seeds.
Soon we put dem seeds out dere so she can have some dood dindins tomowwow.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

where my yesserday blog gone?

Bernie wote a blog yesserday but it gone away. Where it gone?
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 5 August 2012

Naughty twicking howwible peoples

Dis evening when it time for Din dins my Gwand-da and my Gwand-ma dwove away in Gwand-da car and my Unca Tim and my Mummy dwive away in my Unca Tim car and den after a long time my Gwand-da and my Gwand-ma and my Mummy all comes home in my Gwand-da car. My Unca Tim gone home to see my cousin Polly. Dey has been to de supermarket. Dey put de supermarket bag on de bench in de kitchen but dem do not make Dindins.
Bernie miaow and miaow at dem to huwwy up and make dindins. Now my Gwand-ma tell me dat dem went to a  place and had deir dindins dere.
Dey did not take Bernie.
So now me cannot have nice dindins wif de family only dat yukky dwy cat food.
Dem is howwible twicking people
Bernie sad now
Luv fwom sad hungwy Bernie.

Saturday, 4 August 2012

Unca Tim visits

Unca Tim come to visit and he help us to do fings in de garden. Today he make a wood edge all along near de fence.
My Mummy and my Gwand-da pull out de weeds and it is going to be a dood garden. Bernie help. Bernie sit on fings to hold dem still and when my Gwand-da weeded a dood nice sunny spot, me sit in it and have a litta cat nap.
We also plant some new twees. Dem is apples and pears and nectawines and plums. Dem all is yukky. Bernie do not help to plant dem cos dem is yukky.
Why can't we plant a mousie twee?
Luv fwom Bernie.

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Hard to be de official tasting pussy cat

As you know, Bernie is de official tasting pussy cat. When someone goes in to de kitchen and starts making some dindins Bernie has to taste it.
Sometimes dem say "But you do not like this, Bernie"  Bernie say "miaow" what means "But me has to taste it to see if me like it"
So den dey give me a piece. Sometimes dey give me yukkie gween stuff. Bernie just sniff it and go away because if dem is going to cook silly yukky fings den Bernie do not want to be de official tasting pussy cat.
Dere is only one gween fing what Bernie likes and dat is pea and ham soup. Dat is yummy and me eat it all up and lick de pot.
But me do not like onions and beans and lettuce and capsicum. Why anyone make a dindins wif dem silly fings? Sometimes Bernie fink evewyone in dis house is vewy silly except for Bernie. Bernie is de most sensible person in dis house.
Luv fwom sensible Bernie.

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Speshul Parf

Some mans come and make a speshul parf out de fwont near our letter box. My Gwand-ma say dat because dey did not do our dwiveway and Unca Geward did it so dis mans do a speshul parf instead.
Dis morning Bernie twick his Mummy wif a vewy clever twick. When dat clock start going bong bong, Bernie start singing wif it and saying miaow evewy time it say bong. But Bernie keep saying miaows after de clock stop doing it bong bong bong and my Mummy say "Ooooh it's late. I'd better hurry or I will be late for school" and she get up quick. Dat a funny twick to make someone fink it late and dem has to get out of bed.
Luv fwom funny twicking miaowing Bernie