Friday, 30 September 2011

Now we knows

When heidi waked up today I asked her where she go last night when she stay outside all night.
She say she lookin for dem birdies wot make dat caterwailing sound.
Me say "But dat was Wosy who is a pussy cat wot lives next door to us" but Heidi say "No my Hughie thay it be a birdie lookin for hith netht"
Bernie say "Hmmm but it look like a pussy cat to me. My Gwand-ma and me see it wunning away and it look just like Wosy"
"Oh well," say litta Heidi, "Me wath looking all night for puthy catth and birdieth what maketh thothe noitheth. Me wanted to thee if they found apple pieth"
Now Bernie vewy mystified. Why do Heidi fink dose pussies has apple pies? Just because she think dat a apple pie was a moon cos it was wound and yellow, that do not mean that all the pussies wot yowl at de moon is weally yowling at apple pies. ,,, Does it?
Oh dear dat make Bernie head sore. Me need to go and have a litta nap to stop my poor head fwom spinning wound and wound. Meowmmph! Girl pussy cats is vewy hard to unnerstand.
Luv fwom Bernie who is a vewy sensible boy pussy cat.

Heidi was norty

Last night Bernie sleep on Gwand-ma bed. Dat because Gwand-da is away and my Mummy is away and so we bofe be lonely. So we keep each uvver companies.
But Heidi be norty. She stay outside all night. Gwand-ma go and look out de door for her and we bofe wundewing where she be. Bernie go and look for her but he cant find her.
Den dis morning when Aunty Mavis come to go for a walk wif Gwand-ma we go and look and dere she is asleep on de back of Gwand-da new arm chair.
We glad to see she is safe so we do not wouse on her for staying out all night.
Me ask her later when she waked up.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Cold and waining

It be cold and waining and lots of winds.
Bernie and Heidi stay in warm lounge woom and we sleep on dem nice comfy lounge chairs. Dat is de best fing to do when it is cold and waining. If anyone do anyfing else on dis sort of day dem silly.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Catayowling

Last night and de night before dat, when Gwand-ma gone to bed and me and Litta Heidi is twying to get some sleep too, dere be a stwange yowling noise in our backyard.
Litta Heidi sit up and listen carefully. She get a bit fwightened and she say "Unca Bernie what ith that thtrange noithe?"
Bernie say "Dat is some naughty pussy cats yowling out dere."
"Oh" say litta Heidi, "Ith they yowling at de moon?" and Bernie say "Me don't know" and Litta Heidi say "I uthed to yowl at de moon onthe" and Bernie say "No dat was not de moon you was yowling at. Dat was Gwand-ma's apple pie wot you was yowling at" and Heidi say "Oh yeth that ith right. I got mikthed up"
Poor litta Heidi. She wanted to yowl at de moon and she know de moon wound and yellow so when she see a wound yellow fing she fink it de moon.
Anyway, when we just talkin about dat yowling outside, Gwand-ma come out and say "What is that noise out there? I hope it is not one of our pussy cats?" and she vewy glad to see it not us cos we is dood pussy cats sittin in de lounge woom but we is listening to dat yowly noise. Gwand-ma go out de back door and dose yowling cats wunned away.
Dood now we can get some sleep.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 24 September 2011

Oh Meow Gwand-ma has to help me





Me cannot get dose pickchas of me and Heidi sitting in shade off dat camewa and onto my blog so Gwand-ma has to help me please.

Taking dood advice

My cousin Polly give me dood advice. She say I should sit outside unner dose twees all day. So Bernie do just dat today. Gwand-ma take some pikchas of Bernie sittin unner de twee. Me go and get her camera and get dat pikchas off it and put dem in my blog. Now where dat sticky tape gone???
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 23 September 2011

A quiet day

Today be vewy quiet.
My Mummy and my Gwand-da gone away and my Gwand-ma goes to dat wadio stashun all day sept for din dins time she comes home and sees us pussy cats.
When she go away again, Bernie get shut inside de house and Heidi get shut outside de house so when Gwand-ma come home Bernie cannot go and butler her inside.
But guess what! Litta Heidi go and butler Gwand-ma inside all on her own and she do it weal dood.
Gwand-ma tell me all about it.
De only mistake she make is she gone to de wong car. We got two cars parked dere and Heidi wun to de one what Gwand-ma was not in.
Bernie needs to explain to Litta Heidi dat de persons come home in de car wot dwives up to de house not in de uvver one wot sittin dere all day.
Dat might be a bit hard for a litta pussy cat to understand, but we twy and explain it.
Den she wun up de parf weal dood and show Gwand-ma how to wun in de house.
Wow she turning into a vewy dood butler pussy.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Heidi do her first butlewing job.

Today Gwandma go to de shops and when she come home, litta Heidi do de butlewing.
Bernie was going to do it but litta Heidi wun out too and den she wun wight up de parf and show Gwand-ma how to go in de door.
She do it vewy dood.
Bernie vewy pwoud of her. Bernie teach her dood.
But one pwoblem. De butler supposed to show de person how to go in de door but NO-ONE can wiggle deir bum like Heidi so if peoples twy to walk like Heidi den dey fall over.
Lucky Gwand-ma do not twy to walk like Heidi.
We just larf at how she wiggle her bum.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Gwasshopper chargers

My Katy and my Hughie tells me dat gwasshoppers and birdies does not need chargers. Dem has a sleep. Dat better dan what Gwand-ma say. She say we play too hard and dem get deaded. She say Heidi bite dat gwasshopper and dat kill it. Oh No! we vewy sad about dat. Poor litta gwasshopper.
Bernie sad cos him Mummy gone away.
Bernie KNOW she gone away and she not here but Bernie can’t help it. He walk awound de house saying Meow Meow Meow and lookin for her.
Oh Bernie sad. Bernie miss his Mummy alweady.
Den Bernie goes and gets a cuddle fwom Gwand-ma.
Now Bernie has to start dat “waitin til my Mummy come home” again.

Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Dood News

Bernie can post to his blog again.
Now Bernie can tell you all de news what happen while he not postin to his blog.
First of all my Mummy is goin away again but not for a long long time only a short long time.
And my Gwand-da is goin away for a short short long time.
Dat means Gwand-ma and me and Heidi be on ourselves.
Bernie is de man of de house.
Now here is sumfing dat Bernie and Heidi need.
Heidi catch a gwasshopper of de locust sort outside. She bwing it inside and play wif it. It hop awound and she have dood fun. But den it go slow and stop hoppin. She wun to Bernie and say "Unca Bernie, what ith wrong with my grathhopper? It thtopped hopping"
Bernie say "Hmmmm maybe it battewy is flat." So we take it and put it on Gwand-ma phone charger wot sittin dere on de bench. We leave it dere for a long time but it still do not hop. Maybe we need a speshul charger. Do anyone know where we get a special gwass hopper charger?
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 16 September 2011

Bad news

This post is being done by Grand-ma
Bernie tried to update his public profile and he accidentally put in his correct birthdate which is 14 October 2001. He is very proud of the fact that soon he will be 10 years old.
Anyway, because he is under 13, his google account got blocked.
He is very upset about it because he wants to blog and tell all his friends what he is doing.
Grandma has paid the 30 cents to get it unblocked and written to explain that in human terms Bernie is nearly 55 years old.
Poor Bernie is bereft and has gone outside to mope.
If any of his friends would like to put in a comment to show their support for this magnificent and talented pussy cat, I am sure he would be greatly consoled and heartened.
Grand-ma aka Grand-moogi, Mum, Margaret

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Warm day

Today is a vewy warm and sunny day.
Bernie helps Gwand-ma put de washin on de line.
Den he give her lots of cuddles cos she not feeling vewy well.
We also do some more butler pwactice for Heidi. She still shy. She used to wun away when sumone come. She wun away and hide. Dat why she called Heidi so Bernie twying to teach her not to be shy. She has to learn to go and say hello to visitors and bwing dem in de house. Today she doing a litta bit of work expewience.
Katy Mummy tell us dat Katy wead dat book about de bwave koala herself. She SOOOOOO clever.
Bernie like dat stowy about de litta koala.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Gwand-ma is vewy silly

Hi dere!
Just now Bernie was eatin some din dins.
Gwand-ma come along and she say "Oh is you eatin your din dins Mr. Bernie?"
Wot do she fink I is doing?
I is not doin de Highland Fling!!!
Of course I eatin my din dins!
Bernie eats lots of din dins. Sumtimes he eat sumone elses din dins if dem is not lookin. - If it taste nice Bernie will have a little bit of it. Serve dem wight for not lookin.
Anyway Bernie is de offishul food tasting person in dis house so he is allowed to taste evewyfing dat he wants to taste.
He do not like yukky vegeboos.

Saturday, 10 September 2011

But me do be de butler on cold days sumtimes

My Gwand-da be sick and my Gwand-ma and my Mummy go sumwhere. Bernie and Heidi stay home and mind Gwand-da.
When dem ladies comes home, Bernie goes and be de butler because if Bernie don't den maybe Gwand-da will and him is sick.
Anyway Bernie do not mind being de butler to let his Mummy and his Gwand-ma come home even if is it a cold day.
Luv fwom Bernie

Cold again

Today bes cold again.
Litta Heidi and Bernie decide dat we stay inside in fwont of dat heater. Dat is de best place when it cold.
Gwand-ma say dat de butler does not have to work on vewy cold days. It in de work contwact.
Now why does it be cold again today? Me do not know why dat happen.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

A WDO

Today Bernie has a WDO. Dat stand for Wostered Day Off.
When sumone comes to dis house dey has to find out how to come in demselves.
Maybe Heidi will be a substitute butler but she is not finished her twaining.
Bernie enjoys his WDO. He earned it dood by doin de butlewing all de time.
Bernie is like his Unca Tim. We does not get paid overtime. Instead we has a wostered day off to make up for it.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

slippers knitting

Today my Gwand-ma be knittin some slippers for my Mummy's fwend wot got cold foots.
Dem slippers has lots of wools hangin off dem and dey gets mixed up so Bernie has to help Gwand-ma by chasin dose bits of wool and catch dem when dey wiggle.
All de time dose needles go clickety clickety and dose wools go wiggley wiggley and Bernie has to go chasey chasey and gwab gwab wif paws and bitey bitey to catch dem.
Phew it hard work.
Knittin makes Bernie get vewy tired.
Especially knittin dose slippers.
Me has to have a big west after all dat wool chasin and catchin.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Sunday, 4 September 2011

Lots of Butler twaining

Today Gwand-ma and My Mummy gone sumwhere so Bernie spend de day teachin litta Heidi about de butlewin.
She twying vewy hard to wemember all de bits.
First listen carefully for when a car comes and stop at our place. Den wun outside vewy fast and awound to de fwont and go to de car and get dem peoples out of de car.
Show dem dat you is glad dey come by doin somefing nice and pussyish like wollin on de gwound and puttin your paws in de air.
Den get up and wun up de fwont parf to show dem de way inside. When dey open dat fwont door, wun in first to show dem how to go in.
Dat is what me was teachin litta Heidi today.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 3 September 2011

Vewy confusing situashun for de butler

Dis evening, de car come and stop at our house.
Bernie wun out to meet de peoples coming home because he is de butler on duty.
Bernie woll over on his back and put his paws in de air which is pussy cat butler signs of "Hello you is welcome"
BUT, dat car stwaight away back out and go again!!
Oh Meow Meow MEOOOWW
What dat all about?
Bernie look and look at it and can't believe his eyes.
Bernie wub his eyes wif his paws but he can still see dat car goin away.
Dat vewy stwange.
Maybe Bernie wesign as de butler cos it too befuddling for a pussy cat.
Luv fwom Bernie

Butler in twaining

Heidi is learning to be a butler.
So far she knows how to go and see peoples when dey comes to visit.
She wuns out de fwont.
Next she needs to learn how to go up to dem and say meow for hello and den walk down de parf in fwont of dem and show dem de way in de door.
It is a vewy complicated job for a pussy cat so it might take a long time for her to learn.
We see how she goes.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 1 September 2011

Spwing

My Mummy tell me dat today be de first say of spwing so me suppose dat means me has to spwing off de chair and do sumfing spwingy.
Me twy to do dat but oh meow meow me could not be bovvered.
Why does we has to spwing evewywhere just because it is Spwing?
Dat silly.
We do not keep adding fings up in Summer.
Me do like to woll over and get a tummy tickle in Ortum but me do not win anyfing in Winter so me not going to spwing evewywhere in Spwing.
Whoever made up dose wules is silly.
Luv fwom Bernie