Sunday, 30 June 2013

Scwambled eggs

Today Bernie help Gwand-da to make some scwambled eggs.
Gwand-da was bweaking de shells of de eggs and putting de inside bits in a bowl.
Den de tellemsphone wing and Gwand-da gone away talking on dat tellemsphone.
Bernie fink "Oh me can do dat" so me got a egg and bweak it but it gone evewywhere and de yellow bit what is called de yolk got bwoke. "OH no. You is not supposed to bweak dat yolk" finks Bernie. Bernie wemembers when him Mummy was making lemon mewingue pie and she say dat you has to bweak de eggs open but do not bweak de yolk.
Bernie quickly fwow dat bwoken egg in de bin and lick up de mess and den me get annuvver one and me put it in de bowl so it wont spill evewywhere and me bweak it and de yolk do not bweak so me just get all de egg shell out and dat one is dood. Bernie is vewy clever.
Den me use annuver bowl and bweak annuver one but OH Miaow miaow dat yolk bweak too so me quickly tip it in be bin and get annuvver  egg and me do annuvver one and it bweak too  so me has to fwow dat away too and den my Gwand-da come back and him say "Where are the eggs gone? There is nearly none left." but Bernie was having a little nap just den so me did not hear him.
Den Gwand-da notice dat dere is one more done dan him did and him say "Oh Bernie did you helped me? What a good pussy you are" and Bernie waked up just den and me say "Maaaow" what means "Yes me helped you."
Den Gwand-da finish making dem scwambled eggs and he lets Bernie have some cos Bernie helped.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 28 June 2013

A few fings to tell peoples about today

Today my Gwand-ma and Aunty Mavis gone away and my Mummy and my Gwand-da cleaning up de house. Dat little pussy cat what we calls Jaffa say to Bernie "Mew mew why id dem tekking away all dem toys?"  Bernie say "Dey is not taking away toys, dem is cleaning up junk" But dat little pussy vewy sad cos she likes to play wif dat junk. She finks it is toys. Bernie tell her dat she can have lots of toys and Bernie will find her dood toys so she do not have to play wif junk. Dat makes her vewy happy.
Den de tellems phone wing and it be Uncle Tim to say dat Aunty Lily say she wants to come and visit us again. Dat vewy nice cos we likes to see our Uncle Timmy and Aunty Lily. We do not know why dem coming. Maybe she wants to see dis new kitten. Gwand-ma say it vewy handy cos she needs anuvver hair cut and my Mummy wants a hair cut too.
Aunty Lily is turning into de hair cutting person in de family.
Well we has to go to bed soon cos we all tired fwom cleaing de house ad Gwand-ma got de twailer fixed and her sewing machine fixed.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 27 June 2013

A invisible ticket for a invisible fwog

Ohh My Mummy can make a invisible ticket for Sam de invisible fwog to come to visit Bernie. Bernie will ask her and den Bernie will make a nice bed for him to sleep in when him come here. And Bernie will catch lots of invisible flies for Sam to eat.
OOOh dat is funny. Bernie has got annuvver fwend wot weads him blog called Sam. Two blog weading peoples called Sam!!!. But one is a fwog.
De uvver one is a vewy clever lady what wites fings in de noos paper.
Today dat Jaffa cat was helping Gwand-ma tidy up de cwaft woom. She (dat kitten) kept getting balls of wool and unwavvelling dem all awound de place.
She twying to knit. Bernie tell her she cannot knit cos she only got little paws not hands but she still twying.
In de mornings Bernie and Jaffa has dood fun playing. We likes to play on top of Mummy in bed. Dat funny. We plays on top of my Mummy in bed when she be still asleep. Soon a funny cwoaky voice comes and says "Go away! Don't play on top of me at half past 5 in the morning"
We just larfs.  It much more fun to play in de morning when dere is annuvver pussy cat to play wif.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

A new person wot weads my blog

Bernie found out about a new person what weads him blog.
It is a invisible fwog. Him is vewy clever to wead a pussy cat blog. And him can talk.
Dat is amazing. Fancy a invisible fwog wot can talk!
We is still getting weady for de visit of my Katy and my Hughie.
Tomowwow or de next day we is going to make sumfing but me cannot tell anyone about it yet.
Gwand-ma has a bit of twubble getting weady for dis visit cos she cannot walk dood dese days and she has to have a walking stick all de time. Maybe if she do not get better soon, Santa will bwing her a wheel chair and den Bernie can push her in it.
Jaffa Maddie Tasha Mahogony Cat would like dat cos den she just sit in Gwand-ma lap all de time. She is a cuddles pussy cat. She push so hard to get close to someone to get a dood cuddle dat she nearly push dem over. Bernie say "You can't get inside someone you silly pussy. Just next to dem" Den she turn awound and put her bum in dem face.
Oh Jaffa cat where is your manners?
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 23 June 2013

Some peoples do not give comments

Some peoples what wead Bernie blog do not give comments.
My Uncle Tim and my Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da weads Bernie blog all de time but dem do not put comments. Sometimes Bernie's Uncle Matt weads Bernie's blog and sometimes my Mummy's fwend Seher weads my blog too but dem do not put comments.
Bernie always wants dem to put comments so Bernie knows if dey like weading Bernie blog.
Some peoples on de uvver side of de world weads Bernie blog but me do not know dem.
But dem is vewy clever peoples cos only clever peoples can understand Bernie blog.
And my Katy and my Hughie is de cleverwest of dem all.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 22 June 2013

Twying to fink about anuvver way

My Katy and my Hughie says dat  Bernie dood idea about doing de photocopy of de calendar will not work.
Bernie ask him Mummy and she say it a vewy vewy clever idea but it still do not work but Bernie is vewy clever because him fink about dat.
My Mummy say dat maybe my Katy and my Hughie can get here a bit early and my Aunty Mavis will go a bit late and she can see my bootiful fwends. But Bernie do not know if dem is bootiful or not. Well maybe dem is bootiful but are dem kind?  My Mummy say dat dem is weally kind cos dem do not weally mean dat Bernie is dumb. My Mummy say dat Hughie was saying dat de idea is dumb cos it should work and it do not and dat is why it dumb.
Me needs to fink about dat too.
Oh miaow miaow miaow me got so much to fink about dat my little pussy cat head aches wight down to my pussy whiskers.
Bernie needs to go and get a cuddle fwom someone. Maybe me get a cuddle fwom my Mummy or my Gwand-ma or my Gwand-da or maybe dat little girl pussy cat might give Bernie a cuddle. She do give Bernie lots of pussy cat kisses.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Dat calendar

Bernie find dat calendar. it on de kitchen table. Bernie had a look and twy to count de sleeps. But dat vewy hard for a pussy cat to do. Me has to have a sleep in de middle of doing dat.
My Aunty Mavis came back fwom visiting her family. So now we all sits awound and has a talk and a cup of tea and tell each uvver de news.
And guess what. She might not be here when my Katy and my Hughie comes to visit. Dat vewy sad cos me wants to show my Katy and my Hughie to my Aunty Mavis so she can see what bootiful childwen dem is.
But my Aunty Mavis has to go to Canbewwa and mind her gwandchildwen. She goes on de same day what my Katy and my Hughie comes here. Dem cars might pass each uvver on de woad.
Oh Miaow miaow. Hmmmpphmiaowmmph.  Dat a noosance.
Maybe if Bernie do a photocopy of dat calendar and give dat to my Aunty Mavis dat might work. Hmmm me wonderwing about dat. Will dat work? Me could do a dood photocopy in colour. And Aunty Mavis can go on de day in de photocopy and my Katy and my Hughie can come on de day on my calendar and dem will not be de same day cos dem be on diffewent pieces of paper.
Yes dat will work.
Dat what me do. Bernie always solve de pwoblem.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Dat pussy cat is still here

Dat little girl pussy cat is still here. Bernie do not know what to call her. Me was calling her Maddie now my Mummy say her name is going to be Jaffa. And Gwand-ma calls her Jay. She will get vewy mixed up.
But so far Bernie do not fink she care what we calls her. She too busy playing.
She wun vewy fast like Tilly but she still do not bite Bernie tail.
Also she is vewy funny when she attack somefing on de floor. If she sees a peg or a sock or somefing on de floor dat she wants to pounce on and bat it awound de place, she say "Hiya Hiya Mow mow mow" when she attacking it. She finks she doing kawate.
Maybe she is a Ninja pussy cat or sumfing.
It vewy funny to see a little pussy cat wif a sock in her mouf and shaking it and making a "mow mow mow" noise while she is doing dat. Bernie larf and larf.
Hmmm it looks like dat little pussy cat might end up staying here.
My Katy and my Hughie can have a play wif her when dem comes to visit.
It only 19 more human sleeps um  me not sure about dat cos Gwand-ma calendar gone away somewhere. Bernie finks it fell down.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 17 June 2013

A big wesponsibility

Evewybody say dat Bernie has to decide if dat little cat can stay living wif us or go back to de vet.
Dat a big decision for a pussy cat to make.
Dem say it because we do not want a pussy cat what upsets Bernie.
Dat is vewy nice of dem to fink of Bernie feelings but what about dat little pussy cat feelings? Maybe she likes to live at de vet hospital. We do not know if she wants to live here.
Bernie finks she likes living here but she do miaow for cuddles a lot. Maybe she feeling stwange and a bit fwightened. Bernie twying to look after her.
Me washed her bum for her two times.
Dat cos she is only a little pussy and she do not know about washing bums yet.
Also my Mummy finks she cannot stay being called Maddie. She say all our pussy cats has to have a special name and because dat pussy cat looks like chocolate and owange mised togevver she should be called Jaffa.
But is dat a dood name for a little girl pussy cat?
Bernie will get a pikch of her and put it on him blog and my Katy and my Hughie can have a look and tell me what dem fink.
Should we let her stay here?  If she stay here what should she be called? Is Jaffa a dood name? or Maddie or sumfing else?
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 15 June 2013

Maddie is a dood pussy cat

Maddie do not bite Bernie tail and she do know how to give pussy cat kisses. She gives pussy cats kisses to evewyone. She gives dem to Bernie and my Mummy and my Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da. She even twies to give dem to visitors.
So dat means she is a dood pussy cat.
She has been playing in Tilly's tunnel. First she sniff all along it. She can smell a pussy cat what was Tilly's smell still in dat tunnel. Den she came to our ornament cat called Daisy wot my Aunty Lily gave to my Gwand-ma for Kwismus. Dat Daisy was standing on de floor wight near de end of Tilly's tunnel. Maddie could smell a pussy cat so when she came to de end of de tunnel and she saw Daisy, Maddie fought dat Daisy was de pussy cat what she could smell. Maddie twied to give Daisy a pussy cat kiss but Daisy just fell over. Daisy is made of wood and she got a spwing for a neck and her head bobbles. When Daisy fell over, she made a big bang and dat fwightened little Maddie but she did not wun away. She just fought Daisy ione to sleep wif her eyes open so Maddie went and play in dat tunnel.
Maddie loves dat tunnel. It got fings hanging in it and Maddie pounce on dem and she peek fwough de holes in de side and she wun vewy fast up and down dat tunnel.
Dat is much better dan wunning fast and chasing Bernie and biting Bernie tail.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 14 June 2013

A girl pussy called Maddie

Today a new little girl pussy cat come to visit us. She is visiting for de weekend to see if she likes to stay wif us.
Her name is Maddie.
She is black and ginger.
She is not a tiny little kitten but she is still a kitten. She is about four months old.
She seems to be a nice kitten.
She does not bie Bernie's tail and she lets Bernie give her a nose kiss.
We see how she goes for de weekend.
If she stays wif us, Bernie is going to be de daddy,
Den my Mummy will be a Gwand-ma and my Gwand-ma will be a Gweat Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da will be a gweat Gwand-da.
Dat is vewy twicky.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 13 June 2013

A message fwom de vet

Today dat nice lady wot is called Vicki wot works at de vet office wing us up.
She say dat de peoples from de vet was having a little meeting and dem talking about how we is vewy sad cos we lost two little pussy cats in a year.
Dem decided dat we can has a new pussy cat fwee and dem will let dat little pussy cat have all de operations and injecshuns fwee cos we is dood customers.
Dat vewy nice of dem.
So we might get a new little pussy cat for Bernie to have for company.
But please do not get a kitten wot chase Bernie's tail.
Luv fwom Bernie

Gone to de vet

Today Bernie gone to de vet and got my injecshun. Dat is so me will not get some howwible sick fings wong wif me. Uncle Lloyd look at Bernie vewy carefully and see if me is sick or anyfing. Bernie lost some weight. Dat is because Bernie has been twying not to eat too much dindins.
Uncle Lloyd say Bernie is nearly 12 years old. Him say Bernie is not a Spwing Chicken.
Oh Miaow miaow me hope de vet know de diffewence between a chookie and a pussy .
If him do not know de diffewence between a chookie and a pussy den him cannot pass his exams in vet school.
Dere be lots of puppy dogs going to dat vet to get injecshuns and fings and also some pussy cats what lives dere and someone bwing a new mummy pussy cat and her little baby kittens dere. She is a vewy busy Mummy pussy cat cos she got 6 kittens. Dem was dood little kittens and dem was not cwying,
Now me going to see my Mummy.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Cleaning the barfwoom

Bernie's Mummy was cleaning de shower wecess in de barfwoom.
She was wiping de glass.
Bernie started wiping dat glass too wif my vewy dood cleaning paws.
My Mummy said dat Bernie is vewy clever and  me can always help wif dat cleaning de barfwoom.
Dat makes Bernie vewy happy because me likes to be useful and do fings wot me is vewy dood at doing and help peoples especially my Mummy wot me luvs and luvs..
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 8 June 2013

Lots of games

Evewybody is finking of dood games to play and fings to do when my Katy and my Hughie comes to visit.
Bernie is finking of dood games to play too.
Bernie is going to let dem get Bernie dindins. Dat is a vewy dood fun fing for dem to do. It vewy easy. Bernie will show dem where dat big bag of dindins is and where Bernie bowl is and dem can get some dindins out and put it in Bernie bowl. My Katy and my Hughie will have dood fun doing dat.
Today Bernie pwactise singing de bong bong song at de bong bong clock. Hee hee hee it be a funny song.
It just go bong bong bong bong.
Now me has to have a wash.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

A job for my Mummy

Today Bernie help Gwand-ma and Gwand-da tidy up my Mummy bedwoom while she be at school.
Usualllylly (dat a big word Bernie learn)  my Mummy do not teach at school on Wensdays but dis Wensday a teacher boss wing her up and say "Will you come and teach some more childwen please?" so my Mummy say "Yes OK" and she gone.
She was going to clean up her bedwoom today but she gone to teach some extwa childwen instead so we all clean it up for her.
Bernie be in charge of sorting out some books. Me tell Gwand-da dat my Mummy bookshelf is full up and she need annuvver bookshelf. Den me wun in de Gawage and me find annuver bookshelf and me say "Look Gwand-da my mummy can have dat bookshelf" so my Gwand-da get it and clean it and put it in my Mummy bedwoom and den me tell my Gwand-da to put all dem extwa books on it and dat make it much tidier.
Den when  my Mummy come home she beed vewy happy cos dat bedwoom looks much better,
Luv fwom dood tidying Bernie.

Monday, 3 June 2013

Lots of walking makes Bernie tired

My Mummy was talking to my Gwand-da and she say she going to de app shop cos dere be lots of dood fings to buy at dat app shop.
Den a little while later Bernie cannot find my Mummy.
Me looking evewywhere.
Den me wemember dat she going to go to de app shop.
Bernie go down to de stweet to find my Mummy at de app shop.
Bernie wants to tell my Mummy to buy him some nice chookie to eat fwom de app shop.
Me look evewywhere but me cannot find dat app shop.
ooooh  Miaow miaow Bernie little legs is vewy tired fwom all dat walking.
Me sit down and has a west and den me comes home.
And guess what. My Mummy still not home. Where is she?
Where is dat app shop?
Oooh Bernie is still vewy tired. Me go and have a nice sleep
Luv fwom Bernie