Saturday, 30 April 2011

Woyal Wedding

Last night we watch dat woyal wedding on de telebishun.
Dose peoples do not look like dose knitting patterns and dose corgis was not at it.
But dere be lots of horsies. When dey do dat knitting pattern of de woyal wedding wot my Mummy find, dey do not do patterns for dose horsies.
So me fink dat knitting pattern was silly.
Bernie like de litta flower girls best.
Wuv fwom Bernie
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PS licks for Hughie if he like dem. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

A west today

Today Bernie take a west fwom all dat mousie chasing.
My Gwand-ma always fwow de mousies in de bin anyway so Bernie fink she do not want dem.
Evewybody say dat Bernie is a vewy dood pussy for catchin dose mousies but den dey fwow dem away. Bernie cannot unnerstand people sumtimes.
Why do dey be glad when Bernie catch a mousie and den fwow it away?
It be a big mystewy.
So Bernie do not catch any today and we see what dey say.
Wuv fwom Bernie
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Thursday, 28 April 2011

And anuvver one

Hi dere,
Yes you got it! Bernie catch anuvver mousie again today.
Dis time it was a litta one and Bernie just bite it head off and leave it in de fwont hall cos evewybody was not home. Den my Gwand-ma come home first and she say "Oh Bernie you caught another mouse! You are catching one every day!"
Then she get a tissue and pick it up and put it in de garbage bin outside.
Dis is vewy confusing.
First lots of peoples was talkin about how dey got lots of mousies in dere house.
My Gwand-ma was saying "We don't seem to have any mice at all"
So Bernie fink "Dat not fair. Evewybody got mousies exceot my poor Gwand-ma" so Bernie been goin wound and findin mousies and bwinging dem home for Gwandma and my Mummy and den dey always fwow dem away in de garbage.
So now Bernie has to go and get anuvver one evewy day.
Bernie gettin vewy tired fwom all dis mouse catchin.
Wuv fwom overworked Bernie.

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

More Mousie

Bernie catch anuvver mousie early dis morning but he don't eat him dis time.
Bernie just bite a few bits off and den Gwand-da fwow him in de garbage.
My Mummy wowwy dat sumtimes de mousies might be poisoned if some of de neighbours put poison for dem and if Bernie or Heidi eat a poison mousie we get sick.
Gwand-ma go and ask de neighbours but none of dem puts poison for de mousies cos dey all got pussy cats and puppy dogs.
So we is safe.
We keep catchin dose mousies cos dem is dirty vermin. Dem do poos all over de place and makes people get sick fwom deir germs so us pussy cats catch dem and get wid of dem and keep our peoples safe.
Wuv fwom Bernie.
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Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Anuvver mousie

Bernie catch anuvver mousie but he outside.
Bernie bwing him in and show his Mummy den Bernie eat him all up except for de tail. Dat tail was too tough to chew.
Bernie Mummy say dat Bernie is a dood mouse catchin Bernie.
Wuv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Ah! Got dat mousie!

My Gwand-da and my Mummy and my Gwand-ma gone somewhere so dis house nice and quiet wifout dose noisy peoples.
Bernie sit quietly in fwont of de stove and soon out comes dat mousie!
Bernie catch him quick and bite him head off.
Den Bernie leave him in de fwont hallway so my Mummy see him when she come home.
Soon dem all come home and stwaight away my Mummy see dat mousie wifout a head.
My Mummy say "Oh Bernie caught the mouse!. You are such a good Bernie" and she get dat mousie and fwow him in de garbage bin.
Den she give Bernie some of dose speshul tweats for pussy cats what she buy sometimes.
Dat cos Bernie so good and catch dat mousie.
Now Bernie goes to sit on his Mummy lap and have a sheshul cuddle cos him likes to have speshul cuddles.
Luv fwom Bernie
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Bernie might be gettin better

Hello evewybody,
Bernie did not bomit for a few days so he might be gettin better.
Me hopes so cos me does not like dat bom it.
Wuv fwom Bernie

Bov ver

Bernie was sitting dere vewy quiet in fwont of de stove while evewyone in bed.
Bernie sittin dere watchin for dat mousie.
Bernie do not go to sleep on de lounge like he usually do in de night.
He sit in fwont of de stove waitin pashently for dat mousie.
Den Gwandma come out and make a noise.
Bov ver!
Jus when dat mousie was nearly goin to come out.
I hopes Gwandma huwwy up and have her dwink and go back to bed so Bernie can sit dere quietly in fwont of de stove again and wait for dat mousie.
Sssssshhhhhh
Bernie

Saturday, 23 April 2011

Sssshhhh!

Please evewybody bees vewy quiet.
Dere is a mousie under de stove.
Bernie sittin here waitin for it to come out and den he catch it quick.
We must be vewy still and quiet so it don't know dere is a big pussy cat waitin dere for it.
Luv fwom Bernie.
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Friday, 22 April 2011

Heidi is de clever mousie squasher

Hi dere to my nice blog weaders.
Today we find anuvver mousie near where Heidi sleeps. It was squashed.
Dat is what Heidi do wif mousies.
She let dem get in her blankie and den she squash dem.
Dey be flat mousies.
Wemember how she had a Heidi'th thuper thpeedy thmall trethpather thquathhing thervithe?
Well she is still goin at it.
Luv fwom Bernie
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Thursday, 21 April 2011

Bernie still might be a bit sick

Hello to my bootiful blog weaders.
Bernie finished all his medicines but he still be a bit sick and his din dins comes out again.
Bernie be vewy good and ty not to let it get on carpet. Den it easy for someone to clean up.
Bernie feel funny in his tummy.
We wait and see if Bernie still doing dat and if he still doing dat, my Gwand-ma take me back to see Unca Jim who is my dood fwend de vet.
(But him scales is bwoke)
My Mummy say dat she glad dat Bernie has a speshul Medipet insuwance and so if it cost too much we claim it back like Medicare.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Just a note

Hullo fwom sick yukky Bernie
Bernie got a sick like his Gwand-ma but Bernie got medicine and so soon he be dood again.
Gwand-ma and me catch it off each uvver.
Bernie wite a better email when he get better.
Wuv fwom Bernie

Monday, 11 April 2011

A Shocking Discovewy‏

Hello to my dood fwends
Bernie is a bit sick. He beed yukking up his dindins. He can't help it.
Gwand-ma take him to see Unca Jim who is de vet.
Unca Jim is a vewy nice man and he say Bernie must twy taking some medicines to see if dat make him better.
But - a shocking dweadful fing happen.
Unca Jim put Bernie on his scales and his scales must be bwoke cause even tho Bernie was sittin down pwoperly, he still weigh heavy.
Now we all know dat Bernie pwove when he sit down he do not weigh so much so dose scales must be bwoke.
Let dis be a warning to all de pussy cats and puppy dogs wot goes to see Unca Jim.
Unca Jim's scales is bwoke.
Do not twust dem.
Lots of Love fwom Bernie.

Sunday, 10 April 2011

Mystewious noises in our woof.‏

Hello evewybody,
Here is your dood fwend Bernie witing to you all again.
We have some mystewious noises in our woof.
Sumtimes it sounds like litta foots wunning fast and today it sounded like litta foots fell down between de walls.
Wot is it?
Bernie twy to smell it but it high up in de woof.
If it is a mousie, den it be a big mousie.
Maybe it be a wat? or a possum?
Bernie twy to get up dere and see wot it is.
Gwand-ma and Gwand-da and Mummy say Bernie should not go up dere cos whatever it is might hurt Bernie.
But Bernie bwave.
Bernie twy to get up dere and den he can tell evewyone wot is de mystewious fing in our woof.
Wish Bernie lucks.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Saturday, 9 April 2011

A zither dither


Hi there,
Here is Bernie.
Bernie head is spinnin awound cos he was twyin to sort out a dither for litta Heidi.
Heidi found Gwand-ma's 'puter when Gwand-ma was talkin to Katy on the telephone.
She wanted to Google sissors but she got it all mixed up and found out about zithers.
Bernie find a picture of a zither and put it on his blog for peoples to see. A zither be a instwument wif stwings wot people can poke and it make music.
Poor litta Heidi. When Bernie find her she cwyin.
Bernie say "Wot is you cwyin for Heidi?"
She say "I want to find a thithors and and I got a thither."
Bernie look at the scween. He say "Is this a zither?" and she say "Yeth but I want a tithors and I do not know what ith the differenthe"
"Oh" say Bernie "Well don't get in a dither. This is a zither and this isn't a zither"
"Well I wanted to thee thome thithors" say litta Heidi.
Bernie vewy quickly type sissors and then she can see some sissors.
She lucky she got a Unca Bernie to help her.
Love fwom Bernie.

Friday, 8 April 2011

Girls and lipstick

Hello to my blog weaders
Today litta Heidi jump up on de litta table in Gwand-ma bedwoom where she keep her lip sticks and started licking dem.
Bernie Say "Why you doin dat litta Heidi?"
"Well" says litta Heidi, "They ith lick thtickth and girlth hath lick thtickth."
Bernie say "Dem is lip sticks not lick sticks, litta Heidi"
Heidi say "But I have theen Gwand-ma licking them"
"Oh" say Bernie, "I suppose she lick dem to get dat on. But Heidi, you has to have your own ones. You do not use someone else's"
"Oh" says Heidi. And den she go outside and soon she come in wif a stick what she is lickin. Den she jump up on Gwand-ma table and put her lick stick in Gwand-ma's lip stick bowl.
Bernie say "Heidi, why does you have a lip stick?" and she say "Coth Grand-ma and Aunty Anne hath lick thtickth and they ith girls and Heidi ith a girl too tho Heidi hath a lick thtick."
Den she say "Anyway you hath lick thhoeth to lick"
But Bernie say "Oh no litta Heidi. Bernie lick de shoes to clean dem cos dat is one of Bernie's jobs, to clean de shoes."
Just den Gwand-ma come in and she see a stick in her lip stick bowl. She say "What's this stick doing in my lip stick bowl?" and she fwow it in de bin.
Poor litta Heidi. She start to cwy so Bernie go over to her and say "Don cwy Heidi. Bernie get it for you and soon Gwand-ma will wead Bernie blog and she will know to leave it dere cos it Heidi's lick stick."
So dat why I put it in my blog.
Luv fwom Bernie.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Cos Bernie is asleep now

Thursday, 7 April 2011

A stwange birdie

Yoo hoo evewybody,
Last night, Bernie and Heidi was asleep in de lounge woom. Bernie sleeps on de lounge and Heidi sleeps on her folded up blankie on de floor.
Dat where we always sleeps.
Suddenly we wakes up because we hears a stwange noise.
It going Yoo-hoo..........Yoo-hoo.............Yoo-hoo
Heidi say "Oh Ith that Grand-ma thnoring?"
Bernie say "No dat not Gwand-ma snorwing. Gwand-ma snorwing makes a Hooooarrr ......hooaar........hooaarr noise"
"Hmm" say Heidi, "Maybe it ith Grand-da thnoring." But Bernie do not fink so cos Gwand-da make a "whistle snuffle click click " noise when he sleepin.
Den Heidi say "Well maybe it ith Aunty Anne thnoring"
So we go to my Mummy bedwoom and listen. My Mummy make a "bzzzzt.......bzzzzzt ........bzzzzzzt noise when she sleepin.
We can still hear dat Yoo-hoo......Yoo-hoo............Yoo-hoo noise goin on.
Just then Gwand-ma get up cos it wakes her up too and she goes to have a look.
She go out de fwont door and looks in de twee.
Dere is a big big birdie sittin in dat twee goin "Yoo-hoo......Yoo-hoo......."
It have a big wound face and a big wound tummy and it just sittin dere singing it funny song.
"Hmmm it looks like an Owl" says Gwand-ma and she goes back to bed.
Heidi and me looks at each uvver. Heidi say "Ith owlth tathtey Unca Bernie?"
Bernie do not know what Owls taste like cos he never eat one before.
But Bernie say to Heidi dat maybe we better not catch it and eat it cos we never see a owl before and maybe dere is not vewy many of dem.
But we do not like dat Yoo-hoo........Yoo-hoo noise because it wakes us up so we just climb up dat twee to ask dat owl to please sing him funny song a bit softer please cos peoples is twyin to sleep.
He say OK and den he just sing soft and we all go back to sleep.
Wuv fwom Bernie.


Licks for Hughie: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Success

Hi dere to all my dood listeners,
Bernie is sowwy he did not wite emails for two days because his Gwandma was sick.
She leaved her 'puter turned off so Bernie could not sneak in and use it to send emails.
Also Bernie was vewy busy taking care of her. When people are sick they need lots of cuddles and that is Bernie's job.
However, Do you wemember how Bernie found out that when he sits down he does not weigh so much?
He told Heidi that when he stands on Gwand-ma's lap she always says "Sit down Bernie you are too heavy. Your feet are pressing hard"
and when Bernie sits down she says "That's better"
So Bernie knows that when he sits down he does not weigh so much.
Well Gwandma sat down and lay down in bed for two days and guess what?
She lose 2 kilos!!! So that proves it.
The best way to lose weight is to sit down.
So Bernie is always sitting down now.
Love fwom vewy happy Bernie.

Sunday, 3 April 2011

Just us fwee

Hi dere folks,
My Gwandda and Gwandma be away dis weekend so it just be me and my Mummy and Litta Heidi here.
We lookin after de place.
Bernie keeps bein sick and his Mummy always cleanin it up.
Me fink it dat yukkie stwawbewwy make me sick.
Me do not weccommend stwawbewwies at all.
Me dont know why Heidi do not get sick when she eat dem.
But Bernie got a new litta fwend wot lib acwoss de road. He a vewy nice litta boy what come and play wif Bernie.
But Bernie do not tell his name on de wadio cos dat is not good to publish a litta boy's name.
It a important secuwity measure dat you do not let stwangers know a litta child name.
Bernie gib dis dood advice to all de listeners what got litta childwen.
Do not let dem wear clothes what got deir name on it cos uvverwise a stwanger can go up to dem and say deir name and dat litta child fink dat stwanger know dem and maybe dey will go wif dat stwanger cos de litta child fink it is a fwend wot knows deir name.
Dis be vewy important good advice.
Do not let a litta child wear a shirt or sumfing wif deir name on it.
Luv fwom keeping de childwen safe Bernie.


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