Monday, 28 February 2011

Vewy Confusing din dins

Hewwo Evewybody, espeshully Hugh my favouwite blog weader and also Katy who is my favourwite blog weader too.
I got two favouwite blog weaders.
Now dis evening was a bewy confusing situation.
Mr. Nicklas is away and my Gwandma is feedin Mr Claude what is de pussy cat what likes litta Heidi.
My Mummy went wif Gwandma to feed Mr Claude. My Mummy wanted to go in de car cos she fwightened of Skeeters wot bite evewybody.
Just when dey dwiving off, dey see Mr. Claude at our place.
Now of course Mr Claude comes to our place cos he knows my Gwandma is giving him his dindins so he comes to see her.
My Mummy call him out de window of de car but he get bewy confused cos he do not know why dey in de car.
So he wuns away.
So My Gwandma and my Mummy goes and puts Mr. Claude's din dins outside instead of inside cos he wont come home yet.
Bernie goes over to Claude place to tell dem dat Claude is all confused.
Hmmm den Bernie notice dat nice din dins so he has a litta taste of it.
Den Gwandma say "This is weird. Claude is at our place and Bernie is at Claude's place". So my Mummy dwive back home while Bernie and Gwandma walks back home.
Den my Mummy see Claude down de stweet so she stop de car, and go and get him and cawwy him home.
But he bite her!! He hurt my Mummy.
Tomowwow I speak to him about dat.
Dey put Claude and his Din dins inside his house and shut de door so he can sleep in his house tonight. Den we all go home again.
Phew.
I heard about peoples having speshiul parties where dey have some din dins at one house and den some more at anuvver house but dis is bewy confusing for pussy cats.
Now I has to go and eat some of my din dins and hab a sleep after all dat confusing stuff.
Wuv fwom Bernie
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Sunday, 27 February 2011

More squirtings

Hewwo to my blog weaders,
Today my Mummy and Gwandma was doin more gardenin.
Bernie was helping but when Gwandma start waterin de new gwass seeds she put on de gwound, Bernie wun and hide behind a twee cos he know what dat naughty hose do.
But dat naughty hose still squirt at Bernie. Bernie wun fast wight awound de garden but dat naughty naughty hose keep followin him. Bernie had to wun very fast to get away fwom it.
I do wish my Gwandma buy a new good hose instead of dat naughty one.
After a while Bernie go into de house next door cos de naughty hose dont go there.
Dat naughty hose do not chase Heidi.
Why dat?

Wuv fwom Bernie

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Saturday, 26 February 2011

Bad News about a dood fwend

Hewwo dere peoples,
Bernie just hear some sad news about his dood fwend called Brrrr.
Aunty Barbi was talkin to my Gwandma and she say poor old Brrrr nearly blind. Dat mean he cant see bewy well at all.
Poor old Brrr can only smell where his Din Dins is and Aunty Barbi have to put him wight in fwont of his dindins so he can find it.
Also when poor old Brrr twy to jump up on de bed, he miss.
Dat bewy sad.
Brrr be Bernie's best dood fwend.
Brrr used to wite emails to Bernie.
He de only pussy cat what wite emails back to Bernie.
Dat bewy sad.
Now scuse me I has to go back to lickin my bum.
Wuv fwom Bernie
WWWWWWWW

Aqua-aerobics for pussy cats

Hewwo to my nice blog weaders.
Today it be bewy hot here.
My Mummy was outside waterin de new seeds what she put in de garden and Bernie twyin to help her.
Bernie sittin dere being bewy dood when suddenly dat hose turn wound and squirt Bernie.
Bernie wun away fast but dat hose follow Bernie and Bernie has to wun wound and wound to get away fwom dat hose what is wet.
Den Bernie Mummy laugh and say "Oh look this is aqua- aerobics for pussy cats.
If he gets squirted with water he runs fast and gets good exercise."
Now Bernie is not bewy happy about dat.
Dat not a nice fing to do to a bewy dood pussy cat is it?
I want all my nice blog weaders to do a pwotest and tell my mummy dat she should not make dat naughty hose squirt poor old Bernie.
Wuv fwom Bernie

WWWWWWWWWWW

Friday, 25 February 2011

A funny bisitor

Hewwo to my bewy speshul blog weaders.
Yesserday we had a funny bisitor.
Mr Nicklas come and wing our fwont door bell.
He say to my Gwandma "Can you mind Claude for an hour please because I am having a house inspection?"
Gwandma say "Of course" and Mr Nicklas pass Claude to Gwandma but Claude jump out of her arms bewy fast and wun away.
Den it look bewy funny cos Gwandma and Mr Nicklas was chasin Claude all awound de place but Claude wun home.
Dat bewy funny and Bernie lauf and lauf.
Den Gwandma go and get one of de pussy cat baskets wif a lid on. She get de blue one.
Mr Nicklas goes home and soon he come back cawwying Claude.
Den anuvver funny fing to see.
Mr Nicklas and Gwandma twyin to get dat Claude into dat basket in de middle of de woad. Well not weally in de middle of de woad but dey do not twust dat pussy cat out of de basket. Mr Claude gwowed 8 legs all of a sudden and he meow like mad.
Mr Nicklas nearly get his hand wipped off twying to get dat cat in dat basket but at last he in and dey shut de top.
Mr Claude bewy cwanky. He spin wound and wound in dat basket like he be in a washin machine.
Den Gwandma bwing him inside and after a while he happy. He hab some of our din dins and den he go sound asleep unner de lounge. And he snore.
Bernie come in and smell him unner de lounge but Bernie is a nice pussy cat. Bernie let him stay asleep unner our lounge and Bernie hab a litta sleep on de floor.
When Mr Nicklas come to bwing him home we all has to wake Claude up. We open de door den and he wun out and wun home hisself.
Dat Mr Claude was a bewy funny bisitor.
Luv fwom Bernie

WWWWWWWWW

PS People wite XXXXXX for kisses but pussy cats wite WWWWWWW for licks.

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Birfdays and Spiders

Hewwo Evewbody
Dis is Bernie.
Today, when you weadin dis email is a vewy speshul day in our family.
It be Heidi's birfday.
We dont make her a cake wif birfday candles cos she only like fings wot she can eat or woll along de gwound - like gumnuts.
We give her a nice new litta ball to play wif an some speshul tasty treats for a birfday pwesent.
She like dat.

Now I tell evewyone sumfing vewy important.
Today a litta boy came to bisit us and he playin in de yard.
Bernie playin wif him to take care of him cos he only litta and Bernie is a sensible pussy cat.
Dat litta boy see a spider.
Bernie look at dat spider and den look at dat litta boy.
Bernie wait for dat litta boy to go and tell his Mummy dat he find a spider but he don't. He get a stick and poke dat spider and make it angry.
Bernie Meow at him vewy loud but he still do not go and tell his Mummy. Bernie vewy concerned.
Dat litta boy should know to go and tell a gwown up when he see a spider and dont poke it. It might be a poison one and it might bite dat litta boy and make him sick but dat litta boy must not been told dat.
Anyway, to make sure dat litta boy be safe, B ernie swat dat spider quick as quick wif his paw and den dat spider dead and cant hurt dat litta boy.

Now Please Mr. Nicklas tell all de litta childwen dat if dey see a spider dey must not touch it, just wun and tell Mummy or Daddy or Gwandma or Nanna or Gwandad or Aunty or Uncle or sumone gwowd up.
It might be a bad spider and litta childwen does not know which ones is poison.

Love fwom pwotecting de childwen Bernie.

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Our bewy own swimmin pool‏

Hewwo to my wuvverly listeners
Yes, it is Bernie again.
Dis morning litta Heidi come wunnin in bewy fast and say "Unca Bernie, the thea hath come"
"What has come litta Heidi?" me asked.
She say "the thea the thea, come and look"
So I follow her outside and I see lots of water.
"Oh you think de sea hab come do you litta Heidi?" I said. "Yeth" she said, "the thea"
" I dont think it is weally the sea," I told her. "I think someone left the tap on when they were watering the new plants last night and it has flooded the backyard. Someone is very naughty" I said.
"No" said Heidi, "Them ith very good. Now Bernie can do ektherthitheth like he wanted to do so he lothe weight."
"Wot you talkin about litta Heidi?" say Bernie.
Then she say "Well you knowth how Gwandma and Aunty Anne goeth to aqua aerobicth? Well now Bernie can do thome of thothe aquaerobicth."
Bernie just gib her a funny look and turn round and go back inside. "Dat water too shallow an muddy" say Bernie. An Heidi vewy disappointed. So to cheer her up, Bernie say he wun 10 laps wound de yard for exercises. Heidi say she come too so we start.
We do One, two miss a few, Ten.
Then we so tired we has to sleep for de west of de day.
So bye bye fwom Bernie.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Earfquakes

Well Hewwo Evewybody,
You know dat litta pussy cat called Heidi wot lib wif me?
Well she was in de gawage an she climb up on sumfing and she knock sumfing over.
It make a biq cwash and she come wunnin out weal fast. She get a big fwight.
Den she go in de lounge woom and she see a fing on de telebishun about a Earfquake.
She say "OOOh Unca Bernie! Look what Heidi did"
I say "Wot you do litta Heidi?" and she say "Me made a very big crathh. and it turn into a earthquake."
Bernie say "No you didn't litta Heidi, you just made a cwash in de gawage not a earfquake. Dat earfquake is a long way fwom here."
"Well it frighten me" said litta Heidi and she step on de wemote so it turn off. "Dat better" say litta Heidi, "Now I go out-thide and find the remote and turn of that crath out-thide."
Well you know what my dood listening peoples? She still out dere lookin.
Wot I gonna do wif dat litta pussy cat?
And me has a message for my dood fwend, Oscar. Me ask Mr. Nicklas not to wead my email in Oscar's bewy important pwogwam and also, Is Oscar going over to dat Earfquake place wif his hekkalopter to help peoples?

Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 21 February 2011

Time to take stock

Hewwo Evewybody
Bernie has to face de fact dat him is a fat pussy cat.
For a long time Bernie always say it are because he has lots of fick fur and dat make him look fat.
Den Litta Heidi say "Don't worry Unca Bernie. You ith not really fat. You ith jutht big boned."
But today Bernie look in dat mirror and oh miaow miaow Bernie must face dat fact.
Bernie is a fat cat.
Now some people finks a fat cat is a dood fing. If you lib in Canbewwa where Bernie used to live, den a fat cat means you work for guvment and earn lots of munneys.
But Bernie is not dat sort of fat cat.Bernie is a plump pussy.
One day Gwandma tell Bernie get on scales and get weighed. Bernie stand wif one foot on de gwound and free foots on de scales. Gwandma say Bernie cheatin.
Bernie does not cheat anymore.
Bernie twy to find a dood diet.
Do anyone know a dood diet for pussy cats? Pussy cats does not like lettuce leaves and carrots so it be bewy hard to find a pussy cat diet.
Bernie twy to do more exercise. Today he wun up and down dat hall instead of walkin and instead of sleepin unner dat bush all day, Bernie move to anuvver bush sometimes. So Bernie get lots of exercise dat way.
Me hope dat helps.
Tomowwow Bernie tell you how he goin wif his diet.
Wuv fwom Bernie.

Sunday, 20 February 2011

My Knitting Mummy

Hello Mr. Nicklas,
Me hopes you had a bewy nice time bisiting your litta gwanddaughter for her Kwistenin.
While you was away, My Gwandma and my Mummy bisited Claude and gib him his din dins. Dey say he bewy dood pussy cat.
Now I have sumfing bewy stwange to tell you about.
Many of my listeners might have seen my Mummy walkin along de stweet knittin. She be a famous knittin lady. When she in Edinburry, all de peoples got to know her cos she walk along de stweet knittin. Now lots of peoples in Temowa knows her cos she walk along de stweet knittin here too.
She gets lots of knittins done.
Well she also wead lots of knittin magazines and on Sattyday she show me a article in a knittin magazine dat has patterns so people can knit dere own Woyal Wedding. Dere is patterns to make a litta Pwince William, and a Litta Kate wif a bwide dwess on and a litta Queen and a litta Pwince Charles and lots of uvver peoples. Dere is even patterns for makin litta corgis.
But guess what! NO PATTERNS FOR LITTA PUSSY CATS.
I spose dat means pussies is not invited to dat weddin.
Oh well we does not like weddin cake anyway.
If anyone want to see dat pattern, dey can just send me a email and my Mummy show dem.
Wub fwom feelin snubbed Bernie.

Friday, 18 February 2011

washin day

Today Gwandma do lots of washin so Bernie be bewy busy watchin de washin.
Bernie has to sit unner de close line and make sure de close gets dwy.
It too hot unner de close line so Bernie sit in de shade in de car port and he can see de close line weal dood fwom dere.
Oh Cat! (Wemember pussy cats don't say 'Oh Boy' We say 'Oh Cat!')
Oh Cat dat job take a long time cos Gwandma keep putting more and more on dat line.
Bernie worn out and exhaustipated and so he has to go to bed early.
It is not easy being a hard working washin watchin pussy cat.
Wuv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 17 February 2011

Flop in de mud

Dere is no noos today except dat Gwandma fall plonk in de mud when she diggin de garden.
She twip on sumfing.
She OK.
Dat gwound was bewy soft and she say it like fallin in a cushion so Bernie do not bover to go and see if she OK. She just get muddy.
She was listenin to de wadio outside while she diggin in de garden and Mr. Nicklas say sumfing funny and she laugh and dont look where she step and go splat.
Hmmm Him must be funny man.

Wuv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

A stwange fing about peoples‏

Hi Dere Evewyone,
Dere is one fing about peoples wot is weally confusing to pussy cats.
Well dere is actually lots of fings but today I mention one of dem.
It is about wain.
When it is waining pussy cats get out of de wain.
But peoples do stwange fings. Evewy day dey get deir fur off and dey go in de little woom and dey turn on de litta wain. Dey get under it and dey get all wet.
Bernie and Heidi say "Mow Mow meow" all the time which means "Get out of dere you silly person you is getting wet"
Do dey get out? Yeah dey do but when it suit dem.
Den dey has to get dry and put deir fur back on. Me suppose if dey is silly and wants to get in dat wain, it is just as well dey take deir fur off so it don't get wet. But....
Today it beed waining all day and my Mummy go out in dat wain. But do she take her fur off? No of course not. She be silly again. She put more fur on. Den her fur get all wet too.
If peoples weally wants to go in dat wain, why don't dey always take dere fur off so it wont get wet? Dat is de stwange fing about peoples. Dey are bewy hard to unnerstand.

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Cleber litta girl I know‏

Dear Evewyone,
I spose you fink a email witing pussy cat is cleber.
But wot about a bewy cleber litta girl wot I know called Katy. She did not had her six birfday yet - she is not as old as Bernie but alweady she can wite a 'puter pwogwam. Her Daddy teached her and she wite one all on her own.
Gees dey gets younger evewy day.
Bernie feelin bewy old. Bernie much older dan her and he can't wite a 'puter pwogwam.
Oh Dear. Bernie betta go and have his litta nanna nap.
Wuv fwom Bernie.

No Noos is dood noos

Dere wasn't much noos yesserday in DeBoos Stweet.
It was same ol' same ol'
We had dindins, had a sleep, go outside and walk awound, go inside, eat some dindins, had a sleep. go ouside, sit unner dat twee, sit on vewandah, wait til someone let us in, hab some dindins and hab anuvver sleep.
Den next hour we do it all agen.
We keep doin dat all de time.
No-one wobbed Our house or set fire to de house acwoss de woad or bite anyone walkin past or anyfing.
De only funny fing was dat de postman bwing Gwandma a letter wot she wite to someone in Sydney. She post it on Fwiday and on Monday de postman bwing it back here.
Dey send it to de fwom addwess instead of to the To addwess.
Dat silly postman.
Wuv fwom Bernie

Monday, 14 February 2011

More about puzzle for blog fans.

After a while, Bernie Mummy come home.
She say "Hello Bernie Baby. Are you waiting for your Mummy?"
Bernie say "Miaow"
Then Bernie Mummy go inside and she open de door for Bernie and say "Do you want to come inside?"
Bernie come inside but he only walk a little way down de hall and den he turn awound and go back to dat fwont door and say Miaow for his Mummy to open it again.
Bernie Mummy open dat door and Bernie go outside again.
After a little while someone vewy speshul come home. Dat be Litta Heidi. Den Bernie turn wound and miaow vewy loud at dat door so someone come and open it and we bofe go inside.
Bernie was still waitin for Gwandda but he has to help litta Heidi go in when she come home cos Bernie take care of Litta Heidi.
Love fwom Bernie.

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Temowa Gift

Ma,
Now all my cleber listeners knows wot dat means. Dat Ma is pussy cat talk for "Hello I is here."
Soon when my listeners learn all about de pussy cat words, Bernie can wite in pussy cat language an you will all unnerstand him.
On Sattyday Heidi an Bernie decide to go to dat gift and cheer for peoples.
George and Rani say dey come too. Mr Claude want to go as well and so den Wosy also come.
We settin off along our back lane and dat pussy cat fwom down dat lane say "Where you is goin?" We say we is goin to watch the gift and dat pussy cat say "Oooh me luv pressies. Can me come too?"
We say he can so off we all go. When we goin wound de corner, we can smell a nice smell fwom someone house wot is cookin din dins.
George say "I say ol chaps. I really do think it is my dinner time. Sorry to leave you all and that. Do hope you enjoy the Gift. Ta Tar for now." and he wun home.
Rani say "Oh if George goin home, den I needs to go home too." so off he goes.
Den dere is just five pussy cats,Me, Heidi, Claude, Rosy and dat down de lane cat.
We walkin on a litta bit furver but we can still smell dat din dins cookin.
Rosy and Heidi say Meow and you know wot dat means. It means dat de pussy cat want some DinDins.
Den Heidi say to me "Mowmow?" dat means "Are you going to come home with me and have some dinner or are you going to stay there lookin silly?" and Bernie say back "Mowmowow miow wow mow meowmow" Dat means "OK"
So in de end we all goes home cos we do not has any moneys to buy dindins at de Gift.
Next time we pack lunch.
By for now.
Bernie.

Saturday, 12 February 2011

A puzzle for de blog fans

Hewwo to my blog weadin fans.
Dis is a puzzle jus for you.
On Fwiday night, first my Gwandma and my Gwandda get in a car an dwive away.
Den my Mummy get in anuvver car and dwive away.
Bernie wait on fwont vewandah.
Heidi is somewhere outside in wain but Bernie do not know where.
De first person to come home was Gwandma.
She come walkin home wif her umbwella cos it wainin.
She say "Hello Bernie, do you want to come inside?" and she open dat door so Bernie can go in but he say "Meow wow" which mean "No fank you"
Can you guess why Bernie do not want to go inside?
I tell you tomowwow
Wuv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 10 February 2011

Back to our cat dictionawy‏

Hi dere evewybody. It is me again.
It is time we went back to de bewy sewious topic of de pussy cat dictionawy.
Dis is bewy important cos peoples need to be able to unnerstand pussy cats.
Now de word I teach you today is a bewy common word for pussy cats an to unnerstand it you needs to be bewy observanating.
It is Meow.
It is de most common meow wot pussy cats say.
Now when your pussy cat says dat, you need to see wot dat pussy cat is doing.
If de pussy cat is standin near de pussy cat dindins bowl, den it mean de pussy cat want dindins.
If de pussy cat is standin near where you stand when you is makin dindins, den it mean de pussy cat want dindins.
If de pussy cat is outside at de back door, it means you need to open de door so de pussy cat can come in and hab dindins.
If de pussy cat is standing near de bedwoom door, inside de bedwoom, it means dat de pussy cat wants to go out of de bedwoom and go and have it's dindins.
If de pussy cat is outside at de fwont door, it means you need to open de door so de pussy cat can come in and hab dindins.
So I hopes you can wemember all dat. Sowwy to give you so much in one lesson but it is de most important of all de words de pussy cat say.
If you needs a copy of dis so you can learn it, den you can get a copy on my blog at Baronbernie.blogspot.com.
Lots of luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

More exciting Noos fwom DeBoos‏


Hi dere to all my nice listening peoples in Temowa.
Dis is your ol' fwend Bernie witing to you again.
Guess what Heidi Found last night!
We all bewy surpwised. She cum wunnin up to Bernie and say "Unca Bernie come quick. Heidi found a hoppin mouthie"
"A hoppin mousie?" Me said. "Bernie never heard of a hoppin Mousie. Wot is dat?"
So I wun to de fwont vewandah where she show me dat hoppin mousie. I never see such a fing. It bewy stwange.
I call my Mummy and she come wunnin. She say "Oh Heidi you found a little frog. Leave it alone" and she wun and get her camewa and take a pikcha of it.
She say we must not hurt it so we are bewy dood pussy cats.
We stand back and watch. It makin a loud funny noise wot Bernie do not know how to spell.
My Gwandma get a big jar and my Mummy put it in dat jar wif de lid on and my Mummy walk a long way fwom home and put it in a cweek.
She say fwoggies likes to be near water.
Today her fwend Shawon look at dat pikcha and say it is a bewy important native fwog and Bernie and Heidi are bewy dood pussies cos dey do not hurt dat native fwog.
Mr. Claude come and bisit and we tell him.
He say to Heidi "Ah ma cherie, In Fronce, zee frog legs are zee great daily-carseee" but Heidi say "Oh no Mither Claude. We would not eat the legth of a native frog" and Claude say "Sacre Bleu. Of course not ma cherie." and den we all go home to go to sleep after our big excitement.

Wuv fwom Bernie.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Found dat mouse

Hewwo Evewybody
Here is your ol' fwend, Bernie, again.
I is bewy pleased to tell you all dat Bernie catch dat mouse wot was hiding in my Mummy Bedwoom.
Bernie was vewy payshent.
He did not go outside and play unner de twees or sleep in de long gwass.
No, he knowed he must catch dat mousie cause it was in his Mummy's bedwoom.
So while Bernie's Mummy was sittin at her desk typing on her 'puter, Bernie sit dere bewy quiet and wait. Soon dat mousie run over Bernie's Mummy's feet. Bernie's Mummy is a bewy cleber lady. She do not yell loud and skweam like some ladies do when a mouse wun on deir feet.
She just sit still and wait and Bernie see dat mousie and he pounce on dat mouse.
Bernie make sure dat mouse don't wun away again. Now we all knows where dat mouse is. He is in Bernie's tummy.
Burp - scuse me
Dat de best place for mousies.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 7 February 2011

Heidi catch a mouse

Hewwo Evewybody,
Here is bernie.
We can't talk about our cat dictionawy today because Bernie have some important noos.
Heidi catch a mousie. She bwing it in de lounge woom to show Gwand-ma and she look up at Gwandma and stop lookin at dat mouse. She let go of dat mouse an it wun away.
Bernie have to wemember to explain to Heidi about lettin go of mousies.
Heidi twy to find it but she can't find it.
Gwandma go and get Bernie to help her. Gwand-ma tell Bernie where it wun and Bernie listen carefully because he knows what Gwand-ma is saying.
It wun into my Mummy bedwoom. We see it dere once but den it wun away and hide in dere.
Now here is de pwoblem.
Wemember how Bernie lost a birdie in dere? Bernie still did not find dat birdie.
Bernie's Mummy is always tidying her bedwoom. Bernie always say Meow meow all the time while his Mummy is tidying her bedwoom. She say "What you want Bernie?"
Bernie just twying to distwact her in case she uncover dat birdie. Bernie wants to gwab it an wun away wif it before she see it.
Now dere is a mouse in dere too!!! But one good fing.
A litta fwend wite on Bernie's blog dat he do not need to wowwy about a cow coming to dis house so dat means Bernie do not need to wowwy about losin a cow in his Mummy's bedwoom.
Dat one dood fing Bernie glad about.
Now Bernie go to see if he can find dat mousie and maybe dat birdie.
Oh meow meow. What else I lose in Mummy's Bedwoom.
Wuv fwom Bernie.

Sunday, 6 February 2011

Cat Dictionawy

Hewwo evewybody
Here is Bernie.
Bernie wants to wite a pussy cat dictionawy an he need all his cleber listeners to help him.
Bernie will tell you a cat word and wot it mean and you must listen to your pussy cats and see if dey say de same fing.
Den you must tell Bernie.
You can wing de wadio stashun or wite on Bernie blog which is Baronbernie.blogspot.com.
De first word is a dood one to start wif.
It is pussy cat Hello. It is "Ma" like mat wif no t on it. It is a short mow but Bernie wite it like Ma so you know it is a short mow.
When a pussy cat come in a woom wot you is in, de pussy cat say "Ma". Dat means "Hello I is here."
If you go outside and call your pussy cat and your pussy cat is somewhere away, de pussy cat come wunning home and say "Ma.......ma...........ma....." which mean "Hello, here I is, I is coming" Now you all must listen to your pussy cat and see if dey make dat same noise for Hello.
Tomowwow I tell you anuvver pussy cat word.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 5 February 2011

Just for blog weaders

Hello to my fans wot weads my blog.
I only wites emails to de wadio stashun for Mondays, an Tuesdays an Wensdays and Fursdays and Fwidays. Not for Sattydays and Sundays.
But sumtimes I might put a little message on my blog for blog weaders.
Today it was bewy hot again but we had a storm in de arffa noon.
Heidi was outside again and she sat at dat glass door an wanted to come in.
Bernie see her and so he say Meow meow meow until Grand-da open de door for her.
Bernie is dood.
He helps his litta fwend. Her voice is only litta and Grand-da can't hear her fwoo de door so Bernie Meow for her.
Gwand-da say "Wot you is mowing for Bernie?" but Gwand-ma say "He mowing for us to let Heidi in. See he stop when Heidi is in"
My Gwand-ma unnerstand pussy cat meows.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 3 February 2011

Cyclone Yasi in Temora


Hi evewybody,
Here is Bernie again.
I suppose you is all wondewing how come we got Cyclone Yasi in Temowa? Well Bernie tell you.
De uvver night, Heidi an Bernie was asleep in de lounge woom when we hear a big loud noise.
Heidi hide fwom dat big noise. Heidi likes to hide. Dat why she called Heidi.
Bernie go and look out dat glass door and see lots of wain and wind blowin.
He call to Heidi and say "What is it Heidi?"
Heidi cweep out and hab a look. She look out dat glass door and she say "Oh Meow meow, Thyclone Yathi hath got to Temora"
Bernie say "How come it get here? It supposed to be a long way fwom Temowa"
But Heidi say "Yeth but Gwandma had it on de televithion and it jump through. Thyclone Yathi hath teleported thru the televithion."
"Oh no," say Bernie, "What we gonna do?"
"We hath to bunker down" says litta Heidi. So we cwawl on de lounge chair togevver and cuddle up close while we wait for dat naughty Cyclone to go away.
Dis morning it gone but evewyfing is all wet.
Now Heidi hide de telebision wemote so Gwand-ma can't make something else teleport fwoo de telebision.
Wuv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Cooling Down

Hello to all my fans out dere in wadio land.
Dis is your ol fwend Bernie fwom De Boos Stweet.
Cat aint it hot!
Well you peoples might say "Boy ain't it hot" but I is a pussy cat so I say "Cat ain't it hot?"
Heidi, my cute litta fwend, got de dood idea dat we would cut our fur short and she say we get Gwand-da's sissors.
Well did you ever see a pussy cat twying to work sissors? Dem is lethal fings in a pussy cat paws - Dat is if we can even pick dem up.
We soon decide we better not cut our fur cos it too hard and we might cut our ear off or our tail or sumfing.
Bernie tell Heidi dat he has to tell his fans dat pussy cats can't use sissors and den she say "Wot? You got fanth? Well why don't you get thothe fanth and let them make uth cool?"
Bernie just say "Oh Heidi not dat kind of fans".
Den we just lie down for a nap cos we is too hot.
Later dat night it start waining. Heidi was outside and when he hear dat wain, Gwand-da get up and go out and open de door for Heidi to come in.
She come wunning in faster dan a speeding bullet and she wet all over. Gwand-da say she look like a dwowned wat.
Bernie just open one eye and say "Mow" which mean "Don't wake me up" but Heidi come over and start giving Bernie a cuddle and she all wet.
So Bernie has to help her get a good lick so she tidy up.
Wet cat fur Blech!

Bye bye fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Bewy hot in DeBoos Stweet‏

Hewwo all you nice listening peoples in Temowa.
Dis is Bernie.
We is bewy hot here in DeBoos Stweet.
Claude, wot is Mr. Nicklas pussy cat said he was going to ask if we could get some betta wevver because dis wevver is too hot.
He said he would ask Mr. Nicklas to get some uvver wevver instead of de wevver what he has been weading out on de wadio.
I fink Claude forgot.
Anyway, George, who is a puppy dog wot lives next door to us has got a good haircut.
He had long hair on him and now it is cut vewy short and we fink dat is such a dood idea.
Heidi said to me "Look at Mithter George. He hath got hith hair thort. Maybe he wont be tho hot like dat." Den she say "Maybe we can get our fur cut thort?"
Bernie say "Oh no! Dat Chinese Noo Year start soon. If we get our hair cut short we need to do it soon acause it be bewy bad luck to get hair cut in de first month of chinese noo year."
Heidi say "Wat you talkin about you thilly puthy?"
Bernie say "Dont you see on de telebision de uvver night when dey talkin about it all? Dey tell us dat if you get your hair cut in de first monf of de Noo Year, it bwing bad luck to your Mummy's bruvvers. Dat be my Unca Tim and Unca Paul. Bernie don't want to bwing dem bad lucks."
Heidi say "Well quick, we get thithors and cut our fur quickly quickly afor dat Chinethe Noo Year Thtart."
So dat what we do. Tomowwow I tell you if it be cooler.
Luv fwom Bernie