Sunday, 28 December 2014

We had Kwissmuss

I lost my book wif spellin in it.
We had Kwissmuss and Jaffa and Bernie got pwessies. Lots of toys to play wif and lots of yummy tweats.
We like them.
The other day my Gwand-ma got mixed up when she was getting dwessed and put her slacks on first and den her unnerpants. She looked like a Super Gwand-ma.
My Gwand-ma asked Bernie to look on the internet and find some dood fishies to put in our pond. Bernie found de best one called Berney's Catfish. Bernie wants dat one.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 4 December 2014

My Mummy's Birfday

Tomowwow is my Mummy's birfday. She is making her own birfday cake cos she likes cooking and it is a good excuse for her to make a nice cake what she likes wif smelly stuff in it.
Bernie still has not got my Mummy a pwesent but my Gwand-ma said she will go and get the pwesent what I told her to get tomowwow. Bernie always tells Gwand-ma what to get for my Mummy. One day Bernie might buy sumfing on line for my Mummy. I am a clever computer using pussy cat so I could do that good.
Luv fwom Bernie and Happy Birthday to my Mummy.
PS I wonder if she would like a nice new bowl with a pussy cat picture on it or would she like a human picture on it?

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

We saw Santa

Bernie and Jaffa went to the Open Day at our Vet's place. We saw our Aunty Shauna and she gave us both very big cuddles. We were very happy to see her.
Then we got a pwetty thing on wound our necks for Chwistmas and we had our photos taken with Santa Claws. We liked Santa Claws cos he smells just like our Uncle Dewek who lives with our Aunty Shauna. And he knew what our names are and everything. And we told him that we have been good pussy cats and he is going to bwing us a pwessie for Chwistmas.
Here are the pictures that we got taken.

Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 28 November 2014

A necklace for Jaffa

Our Mummy bought a collar for Jaffa but Jaffa says it is a necklace because she is a girl and girls like to wear necklaces. It is black with little diamonds on it. Jaffa says it is a velvet choker. That is a type of necklace and she says it has real diamonds. She thinks she is very smart with that new necklace on. She sort of tinkles when she walks along. Mummy said we are not to tell her that the bell is there so it will make a noise when she walks and warn the birdies. I am going to mark this entry so Jaffa cannot read it.
Our vet is having a special open day on Sunday and Jaffa and me are going to go there and get our picture taken with Santa Claus. It will be good fun.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 27 November 2014

Mousey and birdie

Jaffa caught annuver mousie. I do not know if it was the mousie that I caught and what got away after it ate lots of mousie dindins (peanut butter in a big milk bottle lid for a mousie dindins bowl)
She chased it awound until the poor thing dies of fwight and then she did not want to play with it anymore because it would not wun away.
Then yesserday she caught a big Wosella. She is vewy vewy naughty. We told her not to catch birdies but she say she did not catch it. She say it ask her if it can come and play with us so she just bwing it inside. BUT it was dead so I do not believe it asked her anyfing. She is a naughty naughty fibbing Jaffa as well as a naughty naughty birdie catching pussy cat. She plonk that dead bird on the kitchen floor and ate a hole in it. YUK. Then my Mummy swept it up and put it in the bin. Now my Gwand-ma is wowwied that one of the neighbours who has birdies will come and say "Your naughty pussy cat caught my birdie" and he will want to chop Jaffa head off.
Gwand-ma say that the twouble is that Jaffa is the same colour as the tan bark and so the birdies cannot see her. My Mummy is going to buy a cat collar with a bell on it and she is going to put it on Jaffa so the bell will go tinkle tinkle and the birdies will hear her coming and they can fly away.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 10 November 2014

That mousie is vewy clever and hungwy

When my Mummy and my Gwand-ma pulled the fwidge out yesserday they got the mousie dindins out and put it on the bench. Then later Gwand-ma put it down near the fwidge again on the other side. After a while it disappeared again and when my Mummy looked she saw it way underneath the fwidge again. So she got a long stick and dwagged it out again and when they looked they saw that it had lots of little mousie teeth marks on it and some of it was gone.
Now we put it down near the fwidge again and we are waiting to see if we can catch that mousie when he comes out to dwag his dindins under the fwidge. Gwand-ma said she will not put poison in the mousie dindins because if the mousie eats poison and a pussy cat eats the mousie then it might poison the pussy cat.
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 9 November 2014

A vewy clever mousie

Bernie catch a mousie but it wun under the bookshelf. Bernie was twying to weach under the bookshelf and get it but Bernie's fwont leg is too short and me could not weach. Gwand-ma came along and she know that Bernie is twying to get something out so she put her walking stick under the bookshelf and scoop the mouse out. Bernie wun after it and catch it and let go and catch it and let go and catch it but then it got away and wan under the fwidge.
Bernie was sitting there for a long time waiting for that mousie to come out fwom under the fwidge.
After a while Gwand-ma got a good idea. She got a lid off a empty milk bottle to use for a mousie dindin bowl and she put some peanut butter in it which is mousie dindins. Then she put that mousie dindins down just near the fwidge. Bernie think that is a vewy good idea so Bernie was sitting there for a vewy long time watching that mousie dindins to see if the mousie came out to get it.
Then we went away to have our dindins and when we looked back that mousie dindins was gone. Gwand-da got down on the floor and looked under the fwidge. The mousie dindin bowl was pulled in under the fwidge. That clever mousie wan out when we was not looking and it dwag that dindin bowl under the fwidge.
After another long while my Mummy and my Gwand-ma pulled that fwidge out and there was no mousie, just lots of mousie poop and little teeth marks in the mousie dindins. Gwand-ma specially made it vewy smooth so she could see if the mousie ate any.
That cheeky mousie ate the dindins, did some poops and then snuck away somewhere.
Bernie and Jaffa will be looking hard for that mousie.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 8 November 2014

Nice dindins

My Mummy cooked dat mince and made it into vewy nice dindins what we like. Sanks you vewy much Mummy.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 7 November 2014

A mousie

Jaffa has been bwinging lots of little lizards inside and Gwand-ma and Gwand-da and Mummy has all had turns at bwinging dem back outside.
Now she got a mousie.
She bwought it inside and den outside and den inside and den outside and now she is inside wif it and she is chasing it and it is hiding under her dindin bowl. She do not hurt it. She just tewworwise de poor fing. Oh well she is allowed to catch mousies cos dem leaves yukkiwe poops in our dwawer.
Huwwy up and finish wif dat mousie please Jaffa.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 1 November 2014

Bernie wanted to help

Today Gwand-ma buyed some of the minced meat that she has been giving to the pussy cats for our dindins lately since the silly Bloopermarket stopped selling the pussy cat dindins what we like.
Gwand-ma was sorting out the dindins into little plastic bags wif just enough for two dindins in them.That is one for Bernie and one for Jaffa. Bernie was sitting on the barbecue in the patio and looking through the kitchen window. I was miaowing to Gwand-ma to let me in the window so I could come and help her but she did not want Bernie to help so she did not open the window. She just say "That screen does not open so come in the cat door Bernie." Bernie gets sick of her saying that. Just open the scween Gwand-ma and let Bernie in.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 31 October 2014

Hughie got it wight!

Wemember how Bernie had my birthday on the 13th of October? Well Gwand-ma told me she made a mistake and it should have been on the 14th so Hughie got it wight when he said "Bloop" cos it was a blooper!! How did Hughie know that? He is vewy clever. Hee hee hee.
Now my Mummy came home and Bernie has not been witing in my blog because I was cuddling my Mummy. Also I had to give Gwand-ma extwa cuddles cos she was sick.
Jaffa caught a big bird. My Mummy got it off her and it flew away but Jaffa caught it again. Mummy said it had a burt leg so it must have fallen out of the twee. When Jaffa caught it again it was dead so Mummy took it off Jaffa and put it in the bin. We told Jaffa AGAIN that she is not allowed to catch things but she always says she only wants to play wif them.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Monday, 13 October 2014

Bernie's Birthday

Today is Bernie's birthday. I am 13 years old but if Bernie was a human person, then he would be 68 years old. That is even older than Gwand-ma!!!
Bernie got a nice new little pussy cat dish for my birthday. It is a china one and it has pussy cat faces on it. It is vewy pwetty. Gwand-ma gave Jaffa and me some special tweats in my new bowl and Jaffa gave Bernie a special birthday kiss.
Gwand-da has been giving Bernie special birthday cuddles and it is a vewy happy day.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 11 October 2014

What does she fink?

Bernie says to Gwand-ma "Mow, miaow" Then Bernie says to Gwand-da "Miaow miaow mow" and then Bernie says to Gwand-ma "miaow miaow mow mow"
And Gwand-ma say to Bernie" Bernie why are you saying miaow miaow all the time?
Luv fwom Bernie (Mood - exasperwated)

Thursday, 9 October 2014

A Storwy Fwom Gwand-da

Gwand-da told Bernie this storwy.
A beautiful pussy cat called Bernie was asleep on his desk. Gwand-da wanted to get something out of the dwawer but the beautiful pussy cat's tail was wight over the dwawer. Gwand-da vewy carefully lifted up the beautiful tail and opened the dwawer vewy carefully and gently so he would not wake the beautiful pussy cat. Gwand-da got what he wanted out of the dwawer and then he vewy carefully held the beautiful tail out of the way while he vewy gently and quietly closed the dwawer so he would not wake up the beautiful sleeping pussy cat.
Dear Gwand-da, Next time you see a beautiful pussy cat called Bernie asleep on your desk and you want something out of your dwawer, please do not go to so much twouble to avoid disturbing Bernie. Just BUGGER OFF until I wake up.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Jaffa and the little lizards

Jaffa is being naughty and she is bringing little lizards into the house.
Gwand-ma always gets a bit of paper for them to wun onto and then she picks them up and takes them outside. In fact they are getting used to it and as soon as she puts a piece of paper near them they jump on it for the ride outside. When she puts them down on the gwound they say "Thanks for the ride Grand-ma. See ya next time"
Bernie told Jaffa that she should not bwing dem inside and she should leave them alone but she said she likes to play games with them. Bernie told her that she can have a little chat with them and that is all,
So today she started having a chat with a little lizard. She asked them what they are doing and they told her that they are looking for something to eat. Jaffa then very kindly told them that we have plenty of food in the pantwy and invited them to come and have a look.
Maybe they were just looking in the pantwy when Gwand-da went past and then they ended up getting a bit close and the poor little lizard got twod on. Gwand-ma found the squashed lizard just in fwont of the pantwy door.
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 5 October 2014

Bernie wants my Mummy to come home soon

Bernie misses my Mummy.
Bernie wants Mummy cuddles. Gwand-ma do good head scwatches and Gwand-da give Bernie cuddles but I still want my Mummy because she do the bestest cuddles.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 27 September 2014

Who is the picture pinching person?

Today Bernie was having a vewy nice sleep on Aunty Barbi's sandals.
Then I heard a click noise and it sounded like someone was taking a picture.
I looked up just in time to hear another click.
Bernie knows that lots of peoples love pictures of pwetty pussy cats like Bernie but it is not very polite to take a picture of someone famous without asking them first.
Here are the pictures what got pinched.
Bernie is twying to find out who is the vewy impolite perfectly pwetty pussy picture pinching person.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 25 September 2014

Where is my Mummy?

Bernie knew that my Mummy went to Holland to see my Aunty Seher but that was a long time ago. She is still not back and Jaffa and Bernie have been looking for her.
Bernie has been calling out my special loud Miaow and even little Jaffa has been doing that special miaow although hers is not as loud as Bernie's.
If anyone knows where my Mummy is will they please tell her to huwwy up and come home.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

A big quiet Day

Today my Gwand-ma and my Aunty Barbi went away to visit that Gweat Gwandfather what came here toi visit Bernie one day.
Gwand-da was at home on his own with just Bernier to take cafre of him. Jaffa was here too but she doies not know how to take care of peoples anyway.
Bernie took vewy good care of Gwand-da and Aunty Sam came to visit too to make sure that Gwand-da was getting taked care of.
After my Gwand-ma and my Aunty Barbi came home we watched the television. Aunty Barbi took some photos of us watching TV with the family.
Here they are:
Love fwom Bernie.

Saturday, 20 September 2014

A New Visitor

Today a visitor came. It is my Aunty Barbi. Bernie likes Aunty Barbi cause she is the Mummy of my good fwend Brr. But Brrr did not come cos he got dead. Bernie is vewy sad and I miss my good fwend Brrr.
Aunty Barbi is in a diffwent car but she is the same.

Tomowwow my Mummy goes away for a holiday and Bernie cannot go with her because I HATE going places. I only like to stay home.
My Mummy can send me some postcards and I will like that.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Jaffa Misses

Silly Jaffa! She uses the new kitty litter stuff that looks like sand but she did not aim her bum in the wight diwection and she did some of her poop on the carpet.
She takes a lot of twouble when she is going to do number 2. First she scwatches awound in the litter and moves it all awound in the tway. Then she walks awound the tway and she scwatches it again. Then she walks awound and in and out of the tway and she sits in it to see if it feels wight. Then she gets up and scwatches it all awound again and she scwatches the wall and the carpet and does it all again and then she gets in the tway and does her poop. But she does not put her bum in the wight place and one time today, some of the poop went on the carpet.
Gwand-ma saw her do that sho she wun and clean it all up stwaight away but Bernie was watching and I told her that next time she needs to aim her bum wight.
Silly old Jaffa. She needs a weversing camewa like on our Camwy so she can see where to aim her dewwiere.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Another scweaming fwog

Jaffa caught another scweaming fwog. It hopped under the fwidge and she couldn't get it.
She was twying to get it out all day so first my Gwand-ma shut Jaffa in her bedwoom and then my Mummy and my Gwand-ma pulled the fwidge out and that scweaming fwog had turned into four little wubber bouncy balls. Mummy and Gwand-ma swept and washed the floor under the fwidge because they said that is what ladies do and then they put the fwidge back.
When Gwand-ma went and opened her bedwoom door to let Jaffa out, Jaffa wan fast as fast to the kitchen. She knew that they were pulling the fwidge out and she wanted to get there before the scweaming fwog got away. But she just found the bouncy balls. Jaffa had a little play with them for a while but then she had another look under the fwidge just in case the scweaming fwog was still hiding there but we think it gone away.
We do not know where that scweaming fwog has gone.
If anybody knows will they plkease tell Jaffa.
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 14 September 2014


We had some nice visitors this weekend. It was my Uncle Timmy and Aunty Lily. Bernie taught Jaffa how to lick shoes and so we both licked Aunty Lily's shoes. That made her feel nice and welcomne.
They weeded our garden. Some of those weeds were even bigger than Aunty Lily.
But there are still lots more weeds to get out.
Bernie and Jaffa might get some out.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 10 September 2014


When little Jaffa got a pwoblem with doing a wee, it hurt her lots and lots and so she stopped doing her wee in the kitty litter because she thought the kitty litter was making it hurt. She told Bernie and so we both stopped using that kitty litter because Bernie did not want to get that stinging wee too.
Then we only got used to going to do our business outside in the garden.
When we went to stay with Aunty Shauna she did not want us to go outside in case we wandered away and got lost so she was vewy clever and she put some dirt in the litter tways.
Then we saw her pussy cat using another sort of stuff in a litter tway and it is not like that naughty gwey one what hurts so we twied that.
It did not hurt so Aunty Shauna told our Gwand-ma where to buy it and she buy it for Jaffa and Bernie and now we can use our litter tways again. It is much more conmvenient to be able to use our litter tways and not have to go outside evewy time we needs to tend to things.
Thankyou to Aunty Shauna. She is a vewy clever vet nurse.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Sunday, 7 September 2014

Gwand-ma going a bit bonkers

My Gwand-da was in the hospital and had four operwations. That is a lot so he is a bit stwange. He sleeps on the chair in the family woom and not in the bed with Gwand-ma. That is because he cannot lie down flat anymore.
He always has to have a clean towel when he has a shower so he can't use the one he used yesterday so Gwand-ma is busy washing towels and getting him new ones all the time. And Gwand-ma has to help him get dwy and get dwessed and he has a new big zip down his tummy and Gwand-ma has to dwy that first with the clean towel and she has to do it vewy gently so Gwand-da do not cwy.
My Mummy had a cold and they have to be vewy careful not to let Gwand-da get it so they do not use a mug for more than one dwink. Sometimes Gwand-ma winsed the mugs and used them again but she said that now the mugs have to be washed in the dishwasher to make sure that my Mummy's cold germs do not get to Gwand-da.
Gwand-ma is being vewy careful and she is washing our bowls all the time too as soon as we finish our dindins she washes the bowls. That is a noosance because we used to twy and talk her into putting a little bit more dindins in them but now she takes them and washes them so quick that we do not get a chance to say one miaow.
That is silly. Gwand-da do not have dindins out of our bowls. What is that woman thinking of?
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 5 September 2014

Where is my Aunty Shauna?

Bernie has been searching everywhere and calling with my special loud call but I cannot find my Aunty Shauna.
My Gwand-ma told me that Aunty Shauna is in Cootamundwa and we can see her when we go there and here it is called Temowa and this is where we live with my Mummy and my Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da but I cannot understand that. Bernie wants my Aunty Shauna too. Where is she?
Oh this is very hard for a little pussy cat to understand. Bernie needs lots of cuddles. Jaffa is confused too. She said she cannot see those chickens anymore and Katy and Hughie said that chickens are chookies but that is silly. Chookie is vewy nice to eat and we get it in a plastic bag and it is hot and smells nice. Those chickens were not in plastic bags and they were not hot and they did not smell nice.
Katy and Hughie are silly.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 4 September 2014

Home Again

Bernie and Jaffa and Mummy and Gwand-ma and Gwand-da is all home again.
Aunty Shauna bwought Bernie and Jaffa to Temowa this morning and then my Gwand-ma came and got us and bwought us home again.
Then we got a big good surpwise. Gwand-da and our Mummy were there too.
We are all home and togever again and we are vewy happy.
I felt a bit funny all day because Aunty Shauna gave me one of those tablets to make me a bit sleepy so I would not get car sick. She did not give one to Jaffa because Jaffa does not get sick in the car.
Bernie and Jaffa have been wunning awound looking at evewything and we wemembered where the cat doors are and Jaffa wemebered to jump on top of Gwand-ma's feet and walk right up her when she was having a nanna nap and get a head scwatch and a cuddle.
Now Bernie and Jaffa miss our Aunty Shauna and Uncle Deweck.
Oh bovver! we always has to miss sumbody. If we are with our Aunty Shauna and Uncle Deweck we miss our Mummy and Gwand-ma and Gwand-da and if we are with our Mummy and Gwand-ma and Gwand-da then we miss our Aunty Shauna and our Uncle Deweck.
But we do not miss each uvver because we always stays with each uvver.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 2 September 2014


Aunty Shauna cawght me out, rolling on her clothes and shoes today. Lucky Aunty Shauna thought it was funny and Bernie didn't get into twouble.


We are back at Aunty Shauna's house! We are beginning to like it here wery much! Jaffa and I have made friends with her dog named " Yogi", she isn't too bad. Bernie likes Yogi a lot, she does smell a bit different than Jaffa though. Yogi gets fed biscuits like mine, although they are a different colour, I like to eat them. Aunty Shauna says they aren't good for me, and I have to stop.

I hope Mum is coming home soon, Bernie misses her wery much.

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Bernie and Jaffa home again

My Mummy came and picked us up fwom our new Aunty Shauna's place and we all went home again.
We did not wemeber much about that because Aunty Shauna gave us a tablet and we were a bit sleepy.
Aunty Shauna let me take home a book about spelling and how to use words and that is vewy helpful.
We have been having lots of cuddles but Bernie is not vewy happy because sometimes Jaffa has too many cuddles fwom my Mummy and Bernie is supposed to be the pussy cat what cuddles my Mummy.
We can both sleep on her bed because it is a big enough bed for all of us so I do not mind if Jaffa sleeps there but I wish she would not pinch my cuddles fwom my Mummy.
Luv fwom Bernie


Bernie found a puter! My Aunty Shauna is a vewy nice lady and she helps me with my spelling and words. I am staying with my new Aunty Shauna in Cootamundwa. Gwand-ma and Grand-da dropped me off on Saturday and told me and my swista Jaffa that we would be staying here for a few days while my Gwand-da is in hospital  I miss home already.
Aunty Shauna put Jaffa and I in a big 3 story cage and put us in the sun outside that was a little nice. Here I took a selfie for you

Here is the 3 story cage that Aunty Shauna put us in. Jaffa likes to sit up on the top level, secretly I think she does this because she knows I cannot get up there to see her.
It was very nice to sit in the sun after a long car ride from Temora, my back was nice and warm.
Afterwards Aunty Shauna took us inside and we explored her home for a little bit before seeing the night away by the fire she prepared just for us.

When we woke up the next morning we looked out the window and we saw this weird thing, Aunty Shauna called it a chicken? I don’t know if I like these so called chickens, but Jaffa does. Here I caught her being naughty so I can show Gwand-ma

So, its Day 3 now and I thought my Mummy would be back by now  I miss laying on her lap at night time. Aunty Shauna did come home early from work today to be with me, not Jaffa, though. She came home and was running around the house cleaning so I decided to follow her to see what she was up to.

This is me being a gentleman and helping Aunty Shauna change the sheets on her bed. I liked the new sheets she put on.
That night after dinner we all layed by the fire and watched the Block. I don’t mind this show however, I didn’t agree with the judges that Jenna and Chris’s Bathroom was better. I tried to explain this to Aunty Shauna by meowing throughout the rest of the show, but I don’t think she got what I was trying to say.

Saturday, 9 August 2014

A bewy quick blog

Bernie wun quickly to Gwand-ma puter cos she just tell Bernie dat we is going to stay wif dat new Aunty Shauna.
Bernie do not know if she got a puter what can find Bernie blog. so maybe Bernie will not put any fing on him blog for a little while.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 7 August 2014

Lots of dindins in tintins

Oh dis is vewy confusing for a pussy cat. My Gwand-ma buy lots of dindins for pussy cats and it be in tins. So we got lots of dindins in tintins and now Bernie confused cause me do not know if me has dindins or tintins.
Dem tintins is vewy hard to open. Dem has a little handle to pull but Bernie twy and me can't pull dat handle.
Bernie is going to look on ebay and see if me can find a special fing to help Bernie open dem tins. Den Bernie will not have to bovver anyone when Bernie want my dintintindins.
Bernie knows what to do when it nearly wunned out of pussy cat tindins. Me wite it on de shopping list. Dat is a bit hard cos dat shopping list is high up on de fwidge so Bernie is going to pwactise jumping up to it to wite Pussy cat din tins on dat list.
Den when you wite it on de shopping list, soon it get back in de cupboard. It magic.
You see what a clever pussy cat Bernie is.
Jaffa was a bit cwanky de uvver day cos she spend lots of time putting all her ping pong balls in dood places awound de house. She specially likes to put dem under de lounge and under de book shelves and in de pantwy and places like dat. Den Gwand-ma and Mummy goes and picks dem all up and puts dem back in de basket. Jaffa say "Bovver! Now Jaffa has to go and put them all back in the proper places under the lounge, under the bookshelves and in the pantry. It is not easy to remember which bouncy ball goes where."
So dat is poor little Jaffa dilemma.
Bernie sometimes helps her cos she is my little sister.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 4 August 2014

Bernie helping wif de din dins again

Today Gwand-ma and Gwand-da was peeling lots of vegeboos for de din dins. Bernie sit wight dere and watch dem. Me counting dem vegeboos and make sure dat dem does not wun away. Gwand-da and Gwand-ma always lets Bernie smell de one wot is white wif a bwown paper skin. It has a yukky smell and Bernie do not like it but dem fink it bootiful and dem always says "Do you like dis one Bernie? It is Yummy."
Ugh! Bernie finks it is yukkie but please do not tell Gwand-ma and Gwand-da cos dem will be offended.
My Mummy do not let me smell dat one cos she knows Bernie do not like it.
Den dey puts evewyfing in de oven and Bernie has to wait for it to get cooked.
Bernie is a dood waiting pussy cat.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Oh no Bernie going blind!

Poor little Bernie had a vewy big fwight today. Me found a interwesting paper bag what had a vewy yummy smell so me look inside and dere be some nice chookie in it. Bernie had a little taste of dat chookie and den it happened! A dweadful fing. Oh no Oh no! Suddenly Bernie cannot see vewy well. Oh what will Bernie do? Of course Bernie is a vewy sensible pussy cat so me walk vewy slowly home to my Gwand-ma. Jaffa find me and she walk wif me to make sure me knows de way. Slowly we walking all de way and den we goes fwough de cat door in de laundwy and into de family woom.
Den Gwand-ma see poor little going blind Bernie and she feeling vewy sowwy for Bernie. She feeling so sowwy dat she sound stwange. Maybe she cwying - or - maybe she laughing cos Bernie can't hear vewy well either. Maybe me going deaf too. Sometimes cwying sounds like laughing. Gwand-ma say "Bernie how did you get that bag on your head?"
Den me had a amazing miwacle. My Gwand-ma fix me. She so clever. Suddenly Bernie can see and hear again like me used to. And dat interwesting bag is wight dere on de gwound. Bernie must have cawwied it in cos dere is still a little bit of chookie left in it. It fall out and Bernie eat it up. Yum.
My Gwand-ma has a vewy dood saying. She say "Whenever I need a miracle, I look into my daughter's eyes and know I already have one" so now Bernie has a dood saying. It is "When Bernie needs a miwacle, me goes to my Gwand-ma"
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Jaffa helps wif de dindins

Yesserday when Jaffa was playing wif her mousie it got dead so she fink it would be a dood dindins. She do not want to eat it stwaight away so she put it in de pantwy just where de pussy cat dindins is. What a tidy dood pussy cat she is! Den when my Mummy look in de pantwy she see it and she take it and fwow it away!!! What a silly Mummy. Don't she know dat mousies is vewy dood pussy cat dindins? After all dat silly supermarket go and stop selling dood pussy cat dindins, Jaffa do a vewy dood fing and help us out. Now my Mummy show ingwatitude and fwow it away.
Bernie wowwied dat Jaffa will get vewy offended and she stop catching mousies.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 25 July 2014

Jaffa catches lots of mousies

Jaffa is de best mouse catching pussy cat in Temorwa. We does not have mousies in our housie but she go outside and find dem and bwing dem inside. De first one end up dead and Gwand-ma fwow it in de bin.
Den she get annuvver one what wun and hide in de cwaft woom. Den she get anuvver one what is bigger and she bwing it in de cwaft woom. It must fink dat de cwaft woom is a dood place to hide cos now it gone and we can't find it. So dat means two mousies in de cwaft woom.
Gwand-da say dat better not be a boy mousie and a girl mousie cos we do not want little baby mousies. Jaffa tell me dat why she put two in dere. She hoping she has lots of mousies to play wif all day evewy day. Oh No Jaffa, our Mummy will not like mousies doing poops in de cwaft woom. We need to find dem mousies and get dem out.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Bernie going to do a petition on change dot org

Dat silly supermarket stop selling Bernie favourwite pussy cat dindins. Lots of de uvver ones makes Bernie puke so me cannot eat dem even if Bernie like dem.
My Gwand-ma find annuvver pussy cat dindins what is OK and do not make Bernie puke. NOW DEM STOP SELLING DAT TOO!
Dis sound like a wotten conspiwacy to starve poor dear old Bernie what is de pussy cat what evewybody loves and what is de only blog witing pussy cat in de world.
My Gwand-ma go to annuvver supermarket and she buy some of dat second dindins so dem has it. We has to go to dat supermarket and get Bernie dindins now. And she goes to dat supermarket because dem has annuvver fing what Gwand-ma want and de first supermarket does not have it.
Bernie finks de first one is not a super market at all. It be a bloopermarket.
Love fwom Bernie

More complications

My Gwand-da has a cold and him coughing lots and lots. De doctor in Sydney say dat she cannot do a operwation on Gwand-da when him got a cold so him has to wait anuvver fourteen days what is 56 sleeps. So tomowwow my Gwand-ma will have to tell our new Aunty Shauna about dat. So Bernie will just tell evewybody what is happening along de way.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 19 July 2014

Found out some fings

My Gwand-ma tell Bernie dat we will stay wif a lady what is called our Aunty Shauna. She is a vewy clever lady cos she is a pwoper vet nurse and she loves and loves and loves pussy cats so she will look after us dood. We can give her cuddles and play wif her and Gwand-ma will tell her all de words what Bernie and Jaffa know and how we say fings like how Bernie say "Ngung" when me want some dindins. Achterly me say dat a lot cos me always want dindins.
Me wonder if Bernie will have to be de butler at her place. Gwand-ma did not tell me if Aunty Shauna has a puter. Maybe she did not ask her yet.
Luv fwom Bernie

Going somewhere

OH No,
Bernie just wead on Gwand-ma Facebook dat when Gwand-da go to hospital to have a operwation, Bernie and Jaffa goes to stay somewhere else. We has to stay wif a vet nurse but me fink it is not our Aunty Vicky. Bernie do not know who it be.
Oh no! Bernie hope she do not want to pwactise vet fings on Bernie and Jaffa.
Oh no! Bernie is wonderwing if she got a puter so me can do my blog.
So many fings for a poor old Bernie to wowwy about.
Luv fwom Bernie
PS Me also wowwy about my Gwand-da.

Thursday, 17 July 2014

To de Vet

Yesserday Bernie and Jaffa gone to see our dood fwends Uncle Jim and Aunty Vicky what are de vet and de vet nurse.
Dem is vewy kind peoples and dem gives us a needle what makes us stay healfy and happy pussy cats.
Uncle Jim always puts us on de little scales and see how much we weighs.
Guess what!
Jaffa is bigger dan Bernie
Bernie weigh 6 kgs and Jaffa weigh 6.04 kgs. Uncle Jim say she only 40 gwams heavier dan Bernie but she still heavier.
She is going to gwow into a big tiger.
Now will evewybody please stop wousing at Bernie and saying dat me eats her dindins.
Uncle Jim say it hard to feel her tummy cos she got a fat little tummy and he can only feel de fat.
Jaffa say it weally fur. Hmmmm Me finks Uncle Jim is clever and him knows de differwence between fat and fur.
Now Bernie has to go and find some dindins cos me getting skinny.
Luv fwom little Bernie

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

People coming and going

Gwand-ma and our Mummy went to see Uncle Tim and Aunty Lily again and Gwand-ma take her puter so dat why Bernie do not post in him blog for a long time. Me forgot how to use dat uvver puter.
Now dem home again.
Today our Mummy and our gwand-da gone away somewhere dis morning and den dem comes home.
Some childwen comes and Gwand-ma give dem some money for dem school.
Den Aunty Mavis come and bwing her gwand-daughter what is called Sindawa and dem all has a cup of tea except Sindawa. Dem bowwow de cloves airwer.
Jaffa catch anuvver mousie but it got lost in de cwaft woom. Gwand-ma say she hope it do not poop in de cwaft fings.
Gwand-da is making dindins so Bernie goes to help him. Us boys likes to cook togevver.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 7 July 2014

Mummy home

Our Mummy come home so we is vewy happy pussy cats.
Gwand-ma make fishie for dindins but she do not let Bernie taste it. Dat norty. Bernie has to taste evewyfing in case it do not taste nice. Bernie and Jaffa had a little taste after it be cooked. It OK.
My Mummy fink it taste vewy nice. Jaffa has a little bit but she do not eat lots and lots.
No Bernie has to go and give my Mummy lots of cuddles because she did not get any pussy cat cuddles when she was at Uncle Tim place cos poor old Polly not dere any more and dat vewy sad.
Luv from Bernie

Saturday, 5 July 2014

Jaffa getting picky

Dis morning Gwand-ma get two nice clean little glass bowls out of de cupboard and put some yummy pussy cat milk in dem. Den she put one down where we eats our dindins and say "Here you are Bernie" cos Bernie gets him din dins first cos me is de boss cat.
Den she put de uvver bowl down in anuvver place near de little wine fwidge and she say "Here you are Jaffa" so Jaffa go and dwink dat one.
We bofe likes dat yummy pussy cat milk so we dwink it all up.
Den at lunch time Gwand-ma put Bernie dindins in him side of de double bowl in my pwoper dindins place and she get anuvver little single bowl and put Jaffa dindins in dat uvver place near de wine fwidge. Dat because Jaffa had a diffewent dindins to Bernie.
Now at tea time, Gwand-ma get out our dindins and put dem bofe in de double bowl and put it on our dindins mat in de yous-you-al place. Bernie start eating my dindins out of my side of de bowl but Jaffa look at hers and den she look acwoss at de uvver place in fwont of de wine fwidge and Gwand-ma has to get her dindins out of de double bowl and put it in her little single bowl and give it to her in fwont of de wine fwidge. She only had two fings to eat dere but alweady she fink dat where she always has to have her dindins.
Oh Cat is she getting picky!
Luv fwom Bernie.

Evewybody gone away

Today Gwand-ma and Gwand-da gone away too so dat means de pussy cats was on dem own.
Oh cat! (Wemember dat pussy cats say 'Oh cat' instead of 'oh boy') Oh cat! Bernie is glad dat Jaffa stay home so we can keep each uvver company and not be all on ours owns.
It was vewy quiet in de house wif evewybody gone except de quiet little pussy cats. Den Uncle Carl come and do some gardenings and we had a little talk den. Him pull out lots of weeds and den after it get dark, Gwand-ma and Gwand-da comes home and we is vewy glad cos dem bwings a chookie for dindins.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 3 July 2014

Mummy gone away

Our Mummy have gone away somewhere.
Bernie and Jaffa do not wemember where she gone but Gwand-ma tell us she see Uncle Timmy and Aunty Lily. Dat is good because dem take care of our Mummy.
Bernie and Jaffa is bofe being vewy dood while our Mummy is away. We do not be norty. We just eat dindins and go to sleep. Today Jaffa was a tiny bit norty. She catch annuvver little lizard and bwing it inside to play wif. Gwand-ma pick it up and bwing it outside and put it in de garden and tell it to hide quickly so Jaffa cannot find it.
Bernie has lots of cuddles wif Gwand=da. Bernie likes Gwand-da cuddles. Us boys likes to have some dood boy time togevver.
Now me going to sleep.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

New Dindins

Dat norty shop do not have de dindins what Jaffa and Bernie likes so Gwand-ma has to buy a diffewent dindins. Some of de new ones is yummy so we is happy about dat.
Today Jaffa tell Bernie dat she was looking out Gwand-ma and Gwand-da bedwoom window and she see lots of birdies flying onto de bottlebwush twees and putting bem long pointy nose on dem bottlebwushes. Jaffa say "Bernie Bobsy, Do they smell very nice?"
Jaffa always call Bernie "Bernie Bobsy" Dat is her little pet name for her favouwite Bernie pussy cat. Jaffa loves and loves Bernie to bits. Me do not mind if she call me dat cos it just because she loves me.
Bernie say "Hmmm Bernie do not know if dem smell nice but dem long pointy fings is not dem nose. It is called a beak and it is a little hard pointy mouf what birdies have. Dem birdies needs a long pointy mouf because dem has to pick up seeds to eat so it be like chop sticks stuck on dem face. And sometimes dem dwink juice out of fings and so dat long pointy beak is like a little stwaw."
Jaffa say "Oh Bernie Bobsy you are so clever. How come you know so many things?" And Bernie say "Of course me knows lots of fings. After all it was Bernie what wote dat wiki fing on de puter."
Jaffa say "OOoooh I did not know that" and Bernie say "Dat quite OK. Bernie do not expect Jaffa to know all about Bernie yet cos you only been living here for about one year."
Jaffa give her Bernie Bobsy a little lick and den we goes and has a little snooze.
Luv fwom Bernie
PS Only Jaffa is allowed to call Bernie dat Bernie Bobsy name.

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Dat where dem gone!

Jaffa catch lots of little lizards to play wif but dem always disappear. She do not know where dem gone.
Sometimes our Mummy get dem and put dem back outside in de garden but today my Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da find lots of dem.
Dem littel lizards wun under de carpet in de family woom. It a bootiful big purple carpet what Bernie likes to have a little snooze on in de mornings.
Dem little lizards wun unnerneaf it and you know what happen next? Someone walk on dat carpet and dem liitle lizards gets squished squashed squushed flat as a flat fing.
My Gwand-ma was sweeping de floor in de family woom and dis time she say to Gwand-da "Can you hold the sides of the carpet up so I can sweep under it a bit please?" She do not yous-you-ally do dat so dis time dey finds lots and lots of squished lizards. Bernie count 8 of dem. My Mummy say dat Jaffa is naughty and she should not bwing dose little lizards inside and she should not play wif dem. She should only play wif ping pong balls cos dem does not wun unnerneaf de carpet. Dat silly. How can ping pong balls wun anywhere? Dem has not got legs and foots or even paws. Mummy silly.
Luv fwom Bernie
PS Me still loves my Mummy even if she silly sometimes.

Friday, 27 June 2014

A Vewy Bad and Tewwible Fing

A vewy bad and tewwible fing happen. We wun out of pussy cat dindins. Oh No! Poor pussy cats! We only had one little tin left dis morning so we has to share and have only half a tin each for bweakfast. Of course we got a huge big bag of vewy yummy dwy food but dat don't count.
Anyway clever Jaffa come to de wescue.
She catch a birdie and we eat dat. Jaffa is a vewy good bird catcher. She be de same colour as de tan bark on de garden and so de birdies do not see her coming. And she jump fast and get dem. Good on ya Jaffa! Dem birdies is yummy and cwunchy.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Helping wif de dindins

Evewybody knows dat when someone is cooking dindins, Bernie has to help. It is my vewy important job to taste de meat and see if it OK.
Bernie always do dat.
Bernie knows de sound of de micwo-wave oven what we put de meat in to get un fwozen.
Today Bernie was out de fwont of de house and me hear dat micwo-wave oven going. Dat means dat someone is going to cook de dindins and Bernie was not dere to help.
Bernie is a vewy vewy good pussy cat and me knows dat it is my dooty to be dere so me wun to de fwont door and meow and meow but nobody let me in. Don't dem know dat Bernie has to help? What if dat meat not nice? Dem will be vewy sowwy when dem has howwible meat cos Bernie do not taste it.
You know what me has to do? Bernie has to wun wound to de uvver side of de house and go in de cat door vewy quickly and den me jump up on de bench and wun up close to de micwo-wave and look in. Yes dere be some meat in dere getting un fwozen.
Just den Gwand-ma call my Mummy and tell her to take Bernie away while she cooking dindins. WHAT? WHAT SHE TALKIN ABOUT? SHE GONE CWACKERS! BERNIE IS SUPPOSED TO HELP!
Oh Gingies, my Mummy take me away and me nearly got a sore fwoat meowing to get out. Den in de end, after Gwand-ma nearly finished making de din dins and put it in de oven, den my Mummy let me get out and my Gwand-ma give me de little bits of meat she save for Bernie to taste. Yes dem is good so fank goodness for dat!
Luv fwom food tasting Bernie.

Saturday, 21 June 2014

Will my Katy and my Hughie visit me?

My Gwand-ma tell me dat my Katy anbd my Hughie might go and visit dem uvver Gwand-muvver and Gwand-farver soon. Bernie wonderwing if dem will come and visit Bernie too. Bernie likes to see him KAty and him Hughie. Dem can see how Bernie dwive dat car. But maybe Bernie will be too shy to show dem. Oh dear! What happen?
Today my Mummy was cooking sumfing and she make de water too hot and suddenly she say "Oooh Bernie Bernie" but when Bernie wun up to her she say "Oh I didn't mean you Bernie. I meant another burnie." Hmmmph who dat uvver Burnie?" Dere is only allowed to be one Bernie in dis house and dat is ME.
Love fwom de weal Bernie.

Friday, 20 June 2014

Nearly finished learning de woad wules

Bernie is nearly finished learning de woad wules. Soon me is going to go and do de test at de RTA place at de council where my Gwand-da goes for council meetings cos him is Councillor Sleigh cos him got elected. And my Uncle Wick is de Mayor.
Bernie has to do de woad wules test on a puter so me is vewy glad dat me can wite on a puter.
Den Bernie will have a L plates and me can dwive awound wif L plates if my Mummy sits next to me in de car. Jaffa has been pwactising to sit on de accelerwater and den jump on the bwake when Bernie tell her too. She is a vewy dood pussy cat. But we has not weally been dwiving yet. Only in de dwiveway cos Bernie do not have L plates yet.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Monday, 2 June 2014

Got de good idea!

My Katy and my Hughie told me de good idea of how Bernie can weach de steewing wheel and de bwakes at de same time. Dem tell me dat Jaffa can help Bernie.
Oh what a good good idea. Bernie is vewy happy wif dat idea. Now me just has to tell Jaffa to come and learn to dwive de car wif Bernie.
Jaffa can do de accelerwator too. Gwand-ma say Bernie do not need to learn gears cos we got a automatic car. Dat good cos me do not know what gears is.
Me only knows about ears and dem is pointy fings on top of Bernie head.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 30 May 2014


A vewy nice man help Gwand-ma fix her 'puter so now me can post to my blog easy again.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Wemembered Lesson Number 1

Ah! me wemembered dat lesson number one and me got into de car. Den de next day nobody stop to let Bernie get in.
How me learn to dwive de motor car if dem do not let Bernie get in?
Me still twying to learn de wules. "Give way to a ambulance" Oh boy if a ambulance come near Bernie when me is dwiving de car, me hide under de seat.
Bernie has a big pwoblem. Bernie is too little to weach de pedals and steer de car at de same time. So how me going to dwive dat car? Who has got a dood idea to help Bernie so me can be de first pussy cat in de world to get a dwivers licence?
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 24 May 2014

Oh No, Forgot dat lesson number 1

Bernie forgot lesson number 1 what is Get in de car.
Two times when Gwand-ma stop de car and open de door, Bernie do not get in.
Me wemembered to lick de door but me forgot what to do next.
Now it will take a long long time before me learns to dwive dat car.
Maybe Bernie can learn to wide a motor bike.
Me will ask my Uncle Tim cos him knows about motor bikes.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 21 May 2014

Getting L Plates

My Mummy tell me dat me has to learn all de woad wules so me can get L plates. Bernie was weading de woad wules and dem vewy hard.
"Do not dwive too fast." Ooooh! Bernie too fwightened to dwive fast so dat one is OK.
"Do de indicator when you is turning awound a corner." Hmmm what is a indicator?
"Do not stop in fwont of a dwiveway." Well OK if you says so but what about my dwiveway? Can Bernie stop dere?
You see it vewy hard for a little pussy cat.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 17 May 2014

Some Interwesting news

Bernie has some interesting news for all my blog weaders.
Bernie is going to be de first pussy cat in de world to get a dwivers licence.
My Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da and my Mummy is all teaching Bernie how to dwive a bwwwwmm bwwwwm car.
First of all when dem comes home fwom somewhere, Bernie wun out to meet de car because Bernie is de butler. You wemembers about dat doesn't you?
Well den dem stop de car and open de door and Bernie get in.
Dat is de first lesson.
Lesson Number 1. Get In De Car.
Bernie has nearly learned how to do dat dood. First me has to lick de door. Dat is what pussy cats do.
Lesson Number 2. Look wound de wite way.
Today my Gwand-ma say "Do you want to learn how to steer the car Bernie?" but Bernie was looking de wong way. Bernie was on her lap and looking at her not out de fwont. So dat why we has to have dat lesson number 2.
Lesson Number 3 is "Put your paws on de steerwing wheel.
Dat is a vewy hard one because dat steerwing wheel is much wider dan Bernie little arms can weach.
Me twy to stand on de steerwing wheel and hold on to de top but dat too hard.
So me is up to lesson 3 and me still has to pwactise all dem uvver lessons.
Luv fwom Learner dwiver pussy cat Bernie.

Friday, 25 April 2014

A new Internet fwend for Bernie

Today my Gwand-da tell me dat my Hughie and my Katie has got a new pussy cat. Him name is a funny name what Bernie twy to say but me can't. Gwand-da say me can call him Q for short so me call him Qie cos we always has names ending wif "ie" like Hughie and Katie and Bernie. Except Jaffa. Maybe me need to call Jaffa "Jaffie" so she can be de same. Bernie will ask her tomowwoww.
Now me just needs to find out my new fwend email addwess so me can invite him to be a fwend on Bernie Facebook.
Luv fwom Bernie

No Easter eggs for Bernie

Dat Easter Bunny do not bwing any Easter Eggs for Bernie.
Oh No! Wemember when Bernie catch a bunny and bwing it home for dindins? Dat must have been de Easter Bunny or maybe it was de Easter Bunny's fwend. Now Bernie do not get Easter Eggs. Oh No Oh No Oh why did Bernie get a Bunny?
Silly Bernie.
Now me never get any Easter Eggs.
Hmmmph! Dat do not matter. Me do not like Easter eggs. Bunny taste much nicer dan Easter Eggs.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 17 April 2014


Today what was weally yesserday we had some visitors. Dem was Aunty Debbie what visited us before and a gweat gwandfather what did not visit us before.
Him walk vewy slow wif two walking sticks what is even bigger dan Gwand-ma walking sticks.
Dat Gweat gwandfather be my Gwand-ma Daddy,
Wow dat vewy stwange. Bernie wonder where is dat gweat gwand-father Daddy or Mummy. Will dem come to visit and have fwee walking sticks?
Jaffa get a fwight and she stay in our Mummy bedwoom.
She only come out when dem gone home.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 11 April 2014

Waining and waining

Lots of wain come. We has to turn off our waterwing system. Jaffa outside and when she come in she wet.
Silly Jaffa. Bernie is a clever pussy cat. Me do not go outside in de wain.
Me has to tell my Katy a sumfing. Dat monster wot was Gwand-ma has a towel on her head to stop de perspirwation fwom getting in her eyes.
My Mummy was teaching de childwen at de school to do a Easter Pageant. Bernie do not know what dat is. Gwand-ma do lots of sewing and even Aunty Mavis take some sewing home and do it on her machine. Dem dood ladies make lots of costumes for dem childwen.
Me fink a Easter Pageant is when dem childwen wears funny cloves.
Now Bernie has to go and have a dood sleep cos me tiwed.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 7 April 2014

Stwange Monster in de Garden

Yesserday dere was a stwange monster in our garden. It be doing some gardening.
Bernie wun to my Mummy and say "Miaow Mew Miaow" Dat means "Dere is a stwange monster in our garden and it doing some gardening" My Mummy say "Where" and Bernie say "Mow" wot means "Near our sweet peas garden".
My Mummy say "That isn't a strange monster. That is Grand-ma with her knee pads and hat on".
Bernie wun to dat stwange monster wot was kneeling down and putting little sweet pea plants in de garden. Dem was ones wot gwew demselves outside de garden. Bernie wun up to dat stwange monster and sniff it bum. Yes dat is Gwand-ma bum.
Ha ha ha dat a funny joke. Bernie fink Gwand-ma be a stwange monster.
Ha ha ha hee ha.
My Mummy take a pikcha of dat stwange monster called Gwand-ma.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Thursday, 3 April 2014

It waining

Gwand-da came home and den him gone to see anuvver human vet and now it waining.
Jaffa wun in and out de cat door.
First she go out de cat door in de laundwy and when she sees de wain she wun back inside. Den she go out de cat door in de family woom and she find out dat it is waining out dere too.
She wun inside stwaight away and she say to Bernie "Oh you know what Bernie? It is raining out the laundry door and it is raining out that door too."
Bernie say "Of course little Jaffa. If it is waining den it be waining out all de doors."
Jaffa say "Well it is not raining out the front door" so Bernie twy to explain dat it not waining outside the fwont door cos we got a vewandah dere. Oh it so hard to explain fings to pussy cats.
Bernie say "Just stay inside little Jaffa and find somewhere nice and warm and dwy and have a little sleep."
Dat what Bernie do now.
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Gwand-da is in de hospital

My Gwand-da keep being a sick Gwand-da and him stay in bed for lots of days. Bernie go into him bedwoom and give him a cuddle sometimes.
Today Gwand-ma wing up de doctor and de doctor tell her to take Gwand-da to de hospital and dem will put a dwip in him.
How dey do dat?
Bernie have been looking at a dwip from a tap and me do not know how dat go in someone. Maybe Gwand-da sit under it wif him mouf open.
Come home Gwand-da. You can sit under de tap here wif a dwip. Bernie will still give you cuddles. Me does not worry about a person sitting under a tap wif a dwip.
Just do not get dat dwip on Bernie.
Now me just wun up to de hospital and tell my Gwand-da him can come home.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

A Intewesting question

My Hughie ask a vewy interwesting question. Him say "was it waining before and Bernie do not notice?"
Dis what Bernie has to say about dat.
It was not waining before for a long time. Bernie always goes outside to check on fings. First me go out de fwont door and den me walk all awound de house and come in de laundwy door. Dat my important job to take care of evewyfing. So dat how Bernie know dat it did not wain before de wainbow only after.
Good gwief. Soon we will be back to Katy birfday and she be 8 again. What we going to do?
Bernie will have to send a speshul email to my Mummy to ask her to put dat wainbow pikcha on Bernie blog so we can see if it a inside out wainbow.

From Bernie's Mummy
Here you are my darlings. The rainbow

Thursday, 20 March 2014

De sky is back to fwont

Sumfing vewy stwange happen today.
It happen in de evening when my Mummy came home fwom school.
It was still de daytime and my Mummy looked outside and she see a bootiful wainbow. It be de best wainbow she ever see. She get her phone and she take a dood pikcha of it.
Hmmm Bernie will ask my Mummy to put dat pikcha on Bernie blog.
Den guess what happen!!
My Mummy go to plant some baby plants what she buy. Dem is silver beet, and beetwoot and onions and sum uvver fings.
Den when she nearly finished it start to wain.
Dat silly! Dat back to fwont!
De wainbow is supposed to come after de wain not before it.
How come dat happen?
Luv fwom Bernie.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Just me and Gwand-da today - and Jaffa

Today my Mummy and my Gwand-ma go to Wagga so it just be me and my Gwand-da at home.
We send Jaffa outside to play and me and my Gwand-da has a nice cuddle on him desk and we talks about boy fings.
It vewy nice to have a dood day wif my Gwand-da.
Den dem girls comes home and Gwand-da say him needs to turn over de page on dat noospaper so Bernie has to get up and move out of de way.
Dat a noosance. Maybe dat is a girl noospaper.
Jaffa say "What was you talking to our Grand-da about?" and Bernie say "Me cannot tell you cos it sekwet boys stuff". Jaffa say "Oh well me and Mummy and Grand-ma talks about secret girls things and they are much better than secret boys things"
Hmmm dat silly. How do she know dat? Bernie needs to fink about dat but me can't tell you cos dat a sekwet.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 17 March 2014

Message from Blog Police

Bernie got a message fwom de Blog Police.
Dem say dere be too much bum sniffing and farting in dis blog.
Hmmph! You silly ning-com-poops!
Me is a pussy cat and dat wot pussy cats does.
Go away. You Blog Police is not allowed to wead Bernie blog.
Luv fwom Bernie to all my dood weaders not to dem silly Blog Police.

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Evewybody busy except Bernie

Today evewybody was busy doing sumfing. My Mummy was doing school work. My Gwand-da and my Gwand-ma was twying to make a little fence to go awound our Sweet peas Garden because tomowwow be St. Patwick's Day and dat is de day wot you has to plant Sweet peas.
Even Jaffa was helping dem. When dem dig a hole, Jaffa fill it in or do a wee to make dat gwound good for de new plants. She chase away fings and wun awound and see if dat fence is stwaight. Gwand-ma come inside and she say "Bernie why aren't you helping us too?"
Bernie just wait inside until someone goes near de fwidge cos me know dere be chooky in dat fwidge.
Oh well me suppose me can help.
So Bernie go outside and sit dere and make sure evewybody doing it wight.
Just as well cos maybe it do not get done wight if Bernie do not go and see.
Jaffa just digs holes evewywhere wot we do not need holes and she go wound and smell some new little plants wot Gwand-ma put in yesserday. Den she go and smell Bernie bum. Why she do dat? Wot my bum got to do wif it?
Hmmmph! Next time she do dat, Bernie fart at her.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 13 March 2014

Jaffa has a new dood hobby

Today Gwand-ma was cleaning de family woom floor and Gwand-da come to help her. Dem lift up de carpet in de family woom and dem find lots of little squashed lizards what Jaffa catch. She get dem in de garden and bwing dem in de family woom and den dem little lizards wuns under de carpet to hide fwom her and dem get squashed.
She have five in dere.
She say "Oh is that where my little lizzies went? I was looking for them."
My Mummy fink Jaffa must be welated to dat Heidi pussy cat what used to live here because she used to squash mousies.
Jaffa had nearly enough to make a lizard pie.
Luv fwom Bernie

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Today is Katy Birfday

Today is Katy birfday. My Gwand-ma make a cake and she put nine candles on it so Bernie can see how old Katy is.
She bwing dat cake outside to de back patio where Bernie was having a little sleep.
Den she put it on de gwound so Bernie can see it. Bernie wanted to taste it but a fwend what was visiting called Aunty Sam get hold of Bernie so me cannot eat it.
Dat do not matter. Me do not like chocolate cake. But dem candles is vewy pwetty. Nine is a pwetty how old to be.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Happy Birfday to my Katy

My Katy has her birfday tomowwow and she be nine years old.
She is gwowing up and soon she turns into a gwowd up lady.
Bernie wants to go and visit my Katy for her birfday and have a dood birfday party wif her. Do she have nice chooky to eat at her birfday party? Bernie loves to eat chooky. It is de best din dins in de world.
My Katy lives too far away and me cannot go and visit her so we has to send our messages on de  'puter.
Bernie will tell Jaffa all about Katy birfday and we will have a little party here and we will sing happy birfday to Katy. Bernie will tell my Mummy to light nine candles so we can see how old she is.
Lots of love to de birfday girl fwom her best pussy cat fwend in de whole world. Dat best pussy cat fwend is Bernie.
luvs and licks
licks and MIAOW (what means Happy birfday.)
Luvs fwom Bernie

Friday, 7 March 2014

Bernie still getting skinny

Evewy Fwiday my Gwand-ma put Bernie in de blue cat basket and den she put dat cat basket wif Bernie in it onto de scales in de barfwoom. Den she see what it say and she do a little  take away sum and take away 2 fwom what de scales say and dat how much Bernie weigh now.
Now me is 5.9 kgs and me was 7.1 last year.  Bernie is getting to be a skinny cat.
Now my Gwand-ma always wowwied dat Bernie might be sick and dat why me getting skinny.
Bernie do not feel sick.
Today my Gwand-da went to de hospital and had a little operwation and comed home. Him is OK.
My Mummy is getting a little bit better. Bernie likes to hear him Mummy doing little giggles and talkins instead of cwyins.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 3 March 2014

Now me can do blogs

Now Bernie can do blogs.
Me just has to use Internet Explorwer not Kwome. Kwome have gone silly and it do not let Bernie do blogs.
My Mummy is a bit sick lately and Bernie is vewy wowwied about her. Bernie told Jaffa dat we has to give her lots of cuddles but Jaffa wan away and she do not come inside until it dark.
Jaffa was a norty pussy cat.
De uvver day Jaffa had a little wiggling sumfing in her mouf. Gwand-da say "What has you got Jaffa? Is it a birdie?" and Gwand-ma look and she say "I think it might be a mouse" Then it get out of Jaffa's mouf and it were a fwog. It was not a skweaming fwog. It was a jumping lots and lots fwog.
Gwand-ma catch it in a jar and den Gwand-da put it outside in de garden and it sitting out dere cwoaking.
Little Jaffa do not hurt dat fwog. She cawwy it in her mouf just like a Mummy Pussy cat cawwy her little babies.
When Gwand-da put it outside Jaffa be vewy sad. She say to Bernie "Where is my little kitten gone?" Bernie say "Dat was not a kitten. Dat was a fwoggie" Jaffa say "Oh is dat why it do not have any fur?  I wanted to have a little baby to look after. Maybe I can find one at the vet?" But Bernie say "No we got enough pussy cats here. You have to play with your toy mousies. Maybe Mummy will get you a toy pussy cat with fur that you can lick"
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 13 February 2014

Very Helpful Bernie Pussy Cat

Bernie has been twying to put a post on him blog but sumfing has gone wong wif de blog on my Gwand-ma puter.
Now my Mummy is helping her dear little Bernie cos she loves her bootiful Bernie.
My Mummy is sick and Bernie helps her. Me wun out to de car and help her to come inside. Bernie also give her lots of speshul Bernie cuddles.
Bernie is vewy dood. Me also helping my Mummy to find my little sister what is called Jaffa. My Mummy says “Where is Jaffa?” and stwaight away Bernie twy to find her or if Bernie alweady know where Jaffa is, den me tell my Mummy stwaight away.
Bernie help evewybodies. Tonight Bernie help Gwand-ma to cook de dindins. First Gwand=ma give a little piece of dat meat to Bernie to taste. Me taste it and soon tell my Gwandi-ma if it is dood meat.

It vewy dood so my Gwand-ma can make dindins out of it.

Monday, 20 January 2014

New fence

Me forgot to tell evewybodys dat we got a new fence. Here is some pikchas.

Vewy hot

It is vewy hot here. We is having a heat wave. Bernie is twying to wave dat heat wave dood bye but it do not get de message.
Some of our plants get dem little leaves burned so Gwand-ma make little gween houses for dem.
Sometimes Bernie goes to visit dem Wawatahs in dem little gween house.
Dem Wawatahs says "Hello Mr. Bernie. How come you wears a hot fur coat when we is having a heat wave?"  So Bernie twy to take my fur coat off but dat hurts. It is stuck on. Oh Bovver!
Maybe my Mummy will cut it off a bit and cut little Jaffa's fur coat off a bit too.
Dat big woofy dog was not a wacing woofy dog. It is one like Inspector Wex.
Bernie do not let anyone cat nap me. Me just bite dem if dem twy.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 10 January 2014

Defending our dood home

Dis evening we all has our din dins at de fwesco on de back patio. Dat vewy nice but Jaffa is not allowed out cos she might wun away.
After we has our dindins, Gwand-ma and Aunty Barbi take Gwand-da down to show dem little flowows what Aunty Barbi find gwowing down dere.
Just when we coming back a norty big woofy dog what is nearly as big as a horse come wunning acwoss de woad and comes to our place.
Bernie wun at it and me put my back up big and me say "Hissss Hisssss Gwowl!"
Dat big woofy dog get a big fwight and wun away and den him keep twying to come back at anuvver place and Bernie keeps wunning dere and telling him to go away and dat big huge woofy dog get a big fwight evewy time and den it wun home.
Gwand-ma and Gwand-da and Aunty Barbi say dat Bernie is vewy bwave cos me fight off a big huge woofy dog what is much bigger dan Bernie.
Me glad Jaffa not dere cos she get a big fwight.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Mummy gone to holiday

Bernie Mummy gone to a holiday.
Jaffa say "Our Mummy is at a very long school day. She did not even come home to go to bed with her pussy cat babies"
Bernie say "No she has gone to a little holiday. She will come home after she has seen evewy fing on dat holiday."
Jaffa say "Why did she leave us at home instead of bringing us to see that holiday too? Jaffa would love to see a holiday. I have never seen a holiday"
Bernie say "Because pussy cats does not like dwiving in dat car. It makes pussy cats sick.  Only Bwwww liked to dwive in a car."
"Oooooh"  says little Jaffa.  "I would not like to be sick."
So Jaffa and Bernie stay home to mind Gwand-ma and Gwand-da and we is vewy dood at doing dat.
Luv fwom Bernie


Sunday, 5 January 2014

To de vet and lots of shoes

Dere is two fings what Bernie supposed to tell evewybodies.
First'o'ball Bernie Mummy take me to de vet. Bernie is not sick but my Mummy wowwy about my pink nose and she fink it might be getting lumpy but de vet say dat is just usual bumps.
Second 'o' ball my Mummy cleaning out her cupbpoard and she get ouit all her shoes and she have hundweds of shoes and Bernie is vewy happy. Me sitting in de middle of all dem shoes. Dat is a luverly place for a shoe luving pussy cat to sit.
Hmmm Meeeeooooowwww.
Luv fwom happy as happy Bernie

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Happy Noo year to Evewybodies

Happy Noo year to evewybodies what weads Bernie blog.
You is all my blog fwends.
Today we do some gardening but it look like hard work and Bernie fink it too hard for little Bernie so me just find a nice spot to lie down in de shade and watch. Bernie get vewy tired watching all dat gardening.
Soon my Aunty Barbi come to visit but she can't bwing my dood fwend Brrr cos him died and him is buwied in a little gwave at her place.
Dat vewy sad. Bernie miss my dood fwend Brrrr.  We always spend a dood time togever.
Dat is all de news fwom Bernie today.
Luv fwom Bernie