Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Lots and lots and lots of wain

Soon we all be dwowned. What we do? Bernie can't swim. Oh No! Bernie never see so much waining. Bernie stay out of dat wain. Bernie sit inside or on dat fwont vewandah. Tonight while my Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da was away at meetings, Heidi find anuvver scweaming fwoggie. It scweam vewy loud caus it get a big fwight when Heidi poke it. My Mummy come wunning out and get it away from Heidi.
My Mummy know de sound of dem scweaming fwoggies weal dood. She always wescue dem fwom Heidi. Bernie do not get dem. Bernie just watch Heidi.
When Berni finish witing him blog, Bernie is going to look on de 'puter and find where we can buy a boat in case dis wain do not stop. We will need a boat.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Huwwy Up

Oooh me has to huwwy up and do my blog before it turns into tomowwow.
My Mummy tell me a stowy about dat.
A pwetty girl was at de ball and her shoe turn into a pumpkin. Oh Cat! Me glad me do not wear shoes.
Dat mousie turn into a ugly sister cos de clock hit it. Dat norty clock hit de mousie twelve times. Dat is one two fwee twelve. Dat is quite alot.
and de pwetty girl wun home to her pussy cat.
Dat de best bit of dat stowy.
Now me has to wun away and hide before dat clock hit me.
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Wain wain wain

Hello to my dood blog weaders.
Bernie did not do his blog yesserday because my Grand-ma 'puter forgot how to find dat internet and my Mummy was using her 'puter all de time to do de lessons for de childwen..
Me needs to wemind my Mummy dat she pwomised to get Bernie his own litta 'puter.
Anyway me did two blogs de day before so dat alwight.
Today Bernie and Heidi just stay inside cos it waining.
Yesserday was Heidi's birfday. We all sing Happy Birfday to her. She is fwee years old.
Bernie has been going for dat loooong walk wif Mummy and Gwand-da evewy night. Maybe we do not go tonight cos it waining but Bernie is vewy bwave and he is a vewy dood walkin pussy cat.
Maybe one day my Katy and My Hugh will come for a visit and me will take dem for a walk,
Dat would be dood fun.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 25 February 2012

More Night Time Adventchas

Tonight me gone for a walk wif my Mummy and My Gwand-da again.
Dem walks a long way and Bernie go wif dem.
Usually Bernie do not walk far away. Bernie only go past one house or maybe two but now Bernie is vewy bwave and Bernie walk over dat busy woad and past lots of houses wif my Mummy.
When we get to dat busy woad., my Mummy say "Wait Bernie" so Bernie sit dere and wait while dat big twuck gone past. Bernie knows de woad wules. Den when it gone Bernie wun acwoss quickly.
Bernie is like a puppy dog going for walks but Bernie does not have a wope wound him neck.
Bernie is a vewy clever pussy cat.
But evewybody knowed dat didn't dey?
Luv fwom Bernie


Friday, 24 February 2012

Today was one of dem WDOs

After dem busy advenchas me had last night, me was vewy tired today so me had a WDO (Dat is a Wostered Day Off)
First my Gwand-ma came home fwom somewhere and Bernie did not go and meet her.
Den My Mummy come home and Bernie just Meaow at her to tell her dat she will have to go in herself cos Bernie is on a WDO
Den Gwand-da come home and Bernie do not bwing him in, just tell him to go in hisself.
Den Gwand-da go and get Gwand-ma and when dem come home Bernie just sitting in de shade of a twee and me do not get up.
Me had a dood west.
Miaowmmpphh! dem knows de way in anyway so why do Bernie has to be de butler? Bernie fink he might have a WWO dat is a wostered week off.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Advenchas wif my Gwand da and my Mummy

Hawoo evewybody, I know dat I have alweady posted on my blog, but I just had a vencha and I had to tell you about it.

Evewy night my Gwand da and my Mummy go for a litta walk. I walk wif dem for a litta bit, but den I sit down near the fwats near our house and I meow and meow till dey come home so dey know where dey are.

But tonight I did somfing diffawent! Tonight I decided to go wif dem, and dey got such a suwpwise!

We walked and walked and walked, all da way to de cinema where my mummy works sometimes with Mrs Beff (not Miss Beff wot is my cousin, but Mrs Beff who is Unca Wick's Mummy). I hab never been dat far away fwom home before!

I was habbing a dood walk, but poor Gwand Da gotted tiwed so we turned awound and we went home again. But den Gwand Da and Mummy forgot where we live, and dey kept walking, so I had to meow and meow to tell dem where to come home.

So den dey came home and we all went inside and had a dood west afta dat big avencha!

Love fwom Bernie

Fings what goes beep

In dis house dere is some fings what goes beep.
De washing machine goes beep when it finished washing dem clothes.
De micwowave wave goes beep when it is finished fawing out de dindins or cooking de dindins or sumfing.
Today my Gwand-ma put some yummy pork chops in dat micwowave to faw out cos dem was fwozen hard.
Dat micwowave spin dem wound and wound and dat how it faw dem out.
Den when it nearly finished it say a big loud "beep".
Bernie wuns to see it and den he say "Miaow"  to Gwand-ma which means "De micwowave is nearly finished". Gwand-ma open de door and wiggle dem chops and put dem back and pwess dat button.
Bernie jump up on de bench to watch dat micwowave.
Soon de micwowave finish fawing out dem chops and den it go a long "Beeeeeep".  Bernie say "Miaow Miaow" which means "Dem chops is weady now, me can eat dem" But Gwand-ma say we has to wait til dem cooked.
Oh well Bernie has a litta nap now while me waiting.
Luv fwom Bernie


Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Getting itchy

Today Bernie feels a litta bit itchy. Me scwatching a bit.
Me fink dat maybe me got dat itchy fing what Gwand-da had but Gwand-ma say maybe I got a flea off anuvver pussy cat so she gives me dat flea tweatment.
She say she can't see any fleas on Bernie or Heidi cos we is vewy clean pussy cats but she say she put it on just in case.
Me and Heidi say we are not going to play wif any pussy cats what got fleas cos we does not want to get dem. Dem is yukky howwible fings.
Gwand-ma tell Heidi dat maybe she make extwa gwavy for her cos she do like dat gwavy vewy much.
Bernie like it too so maybe if Gwand-ma make extwa den Bernie will get to have some.
Dat be vewy dood.
Luv fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Fur on de carpet

Bernie sowwy he can't spend alot of time witing his blog today. Yesserday my Mummy vacuum dat carpet to make it nice and clean for when my Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da comes home but she vacuum up all de good fur on it.
So today me has to lie on it evewywhere and put some more good fur back on it.

Oh and de building person came and got dem gates and fence bits to put dem in our noo house.
Luv fwom Bernie

Monday, 20 February 2012

A Vewy important day

Today beed a vewy important day.
First of all while my Mummy was at school, a man came in a vewy big twuck wif a huge giant parcel. Bernie beed de butler and told him to bwing it up to do vewandah. It taked two mans to cawwy it because it beed vewy big.
It was too big to go in de door so Bernie say "Miaow miaow" which mean "Just put it here on de vewandah and Bernie will take care of it until my Mummy come home."
So dat what dey do. Bernie had to sign a piece of paper to say dat dem mans bwing dat huige giant parcel to our place den dem dwive away in dat big twuck.
Den my mummy come home.
She see Bernie minding dat parcel and she say "Oooh it look like dem new blue gates for our new house and dem new blue bits of fence panels for our new house too."
So dat what dey are.
Den my Mummy tell me dat Gwand-ma and Gwand-da come home soon and she going to make dem a nice din dins so Bernie wait outside for dem.
When dey come home Bernie vewy happy.
Bernie wun out and say Maa Maa which is pussy cat for hello and den Bernie bwing dem inside wif deir suitcases.
Now we all happy except Bernie wanted Gwand-ma and Gwand-da to bwing my Katy and my Hughie home wif dem but dey forgot.
Oh no! Dat make me sad and me have a litta cwy but me happy dat my Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da is home again.
Luv fwom Bernie.



Friday, 17 February 2012

A bwushing Puddy Tat

De Gwavy is still going missing fwom my din dins. I watched my Mummy gib me din dins and dere was lots of yummy gwavy, but den I went away to let litta Heidi eat some din dins first, because I is a dood unca what lets my litta Heidi eat first.

But den I came back and de Gwavy was gone, but de din dins was still dere. So I said to Heidi

"I fink dat dere is a gwavy stealing monsta hiding here. I fink it is dat big yellow monsta dat was here de ovva day."

Heidi looked at me and she bwushed! Her litta cheeks went pink

"Oh but Unca Bern," she said. "Don't be thilly. Thweet litta Katy thaid that that monthta wath your Mummy."

I scrunched up my face, which as you know is bewy hard for a pussy cat to do. Den I said

"But Litta Heidi, where is all the gwavy going den?"

And Heidi's cheeks went even pinker!

"Well, Unca Bern," she whispered, and looked down at her litta paws. "That gravy is tho yummy, it ith the thweetetht thing I have ever tathted. I'm tho thowwy Unca Bern, but I am the Gwavy Monthta."

"Oh Litta Heidi, dat is ok." I said, even doe I wike the gwavy bewy bewy much. "If it is you eating it den it is ok."

Sometimes it is bewy hard to be a dood Unca, when your litta Heidi eats all the yummy gwavy, but I guess dat's better den a monsta.

Now I hab to go and ask my Mummy if she was really dat monsta.

Bye bye from Bern.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Vanishing Gwavy

Not much happened today, my Gwandma and my Gwandda are still bisiting my dood fwiend Katy and my dood fwiend Hughie and my mummy goed to work. It beed vewy qwiet here at De Boos stweet, but I still beed a dood butler.

Not dat anybody comes to bisit, but dat doesn't matter, because a butler is always weady!

But when I goed inside to hab some of the din dins dat my Mummy got for me, I found something. All the gwavy on my din dins is gone! Dere beed a gwavy monsta! I bet it beed that big yellow monsta dat comed over de ovva day.

I will find dat gwavy monsta. My din dins is yummy, but dat gwavy makes it yummier!

Love fwom Bernie

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Happy wamingtons day

Today is wamingtons day. Bernie is not sure why it is lamingtons day but my mummy says dey beed very yummy and so i fink dat is a good weason to have a day for dem!

George, my dood fwiend what is a puppy dog says dat 'da ladies wike wamingtons' so since I am a dood unca I gave my litta heidi a pwesent. I put coconut on her din dins, to make it wamington fwavour. When she saw it she said "Oh unca Bern, what ith thith on my din dinth?"

"It is coconut, for Wamington day Litta Heidi." I told her.

"Oh, fank you Unca Bern. You is tho thweet to me." and den she gave me a cuddle and a kiss.

Happy Wamington day evewybody.

Love fwom Bern.

Scawy Yellow Monsta!

Today my Mummy goed to school and my Gwandma and my Gwandda goed away too. They have gone to bisit my dood fwiend Hughie and my dood fwiend Katy and I gived dem lots of cuddles to give to my dood fwiend Hughie and my dood fwiend Katy.

But before dey went away, I went outside to buttle somebody in, because I is a dood butla, but it was a scawy yellow monsta! It had a big hat on, and yellow skin and yellow wings and stripy black and yellow legs!

I meowed at it, which you know means 'Go away you big yellow monsta! I live here and you not come inside!'

But it didn't unnastand me and it went inside anyway! I twied to wun inside and warn my gwandma and my gwandda, but my gwandma said "oh Bern you are a silly boy! That's not a monster! That's your Mummy, dressed up."

But Bernie is not silly. Why my mummy dwess up like a big yellow monsta? I fink Gwandma is getting a bit siwwy in her head!

So I kept meowing and den dat monsta goed away and it was safe again. When my mummy came home I told her about dat monsta and she gave me a big cuddle and said I was vewy bwave!

Love from Bernie.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Jus anuvver sunny Sunday

Today beed anuvver one of dem Sundays what starts wif a morning and has a afternoon and you know de west.
Peoples be coming and going and so me be vewy busy butlewing.
But you know what? Sometimes dem peoples forget to give poor litta Bernie and poor litta Heidi some din dins.
Now Bernie is not complainin because of hisself. Bernie is bwave but Bernie is vewy wowwied about litta Heidi. She is only a litta cute pussy cat and Bernie do not like it when she be hungwy. So when someone comes home, Bernie miaow vewy loudly which mean "Please give us some din dins" and dat what happen.
Den while evewybody was away a Ambulance come because a man who live near us get sick. Bernie vewy wowwied about him but dat ambulance man take him away to dat hospital to make him get better.
Luv fwom Bernie

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Being a vewy dood and pwoper butler.

Bernie and Heidi was at home minding de house and a visitor come. It be Farver Plunkett.
Bernie is de butler so Bernie bwing him inside and tell him he can sit down on a dood chair. Den Bernie let him wead de newspaper and Bernie be a dood host while de visitor is here.
After a while, Gwand-da comes home and him vewy glad to see dat Bernie is a dood butler and let Farver Plunkett come in and sit down and wait for Gwand-da.
Bernie is vewy pwoud dat he be a pwoper gowowd up pwofessional butler.
Luv fwom Bernie

Friday, 10 February 2012

A dood idea fwom my Katy

My Katy tells me a vewy dood idea. She say I should have a cat door in my pantwy. Today me go down to dat noo house and ask Unca Gewward wot is de building person if me can have a cat flap in my pantwy.
Him say "Of course Mr. Bern. You is a very special butler and you must have a very good cat flap in your butlers pantry."
So dat fixed den.
You see Bernie is a dood pussy cat what always get fings done.
Me was going to go to de shops and buy lots of dood pussy cat din dins to put in my butlers pantwy. But me found out dat me can buy it on de 'puter.
Me just find a place what sell dood pussy cat din dins and me put in de numbers and den a man bwing it to de house.
Dat a much better idea.
Me do dat tomowwow.
Luv fwom Bernie


Thursday, 9 February 2012

Just me and Heidi today

Today Gwand-ma and Gwand-da gone away somewhere and den my Mummy gone away somewhere so me and Heidi minding de house all day on our own.
We minded and minded and minded.
Sometimes it wained and sometimes it beed sunny.
Two Giwwaffes came to bisit. Dey say dey got sore fwoats. Dat vewy sad cos dem fwoats was weal big.
Me find dem some cough medicine but it for humans not animals so me tell dem to go and see Unca Jim.
Den a big elephant come and we talk about dat time when Bernie fink a monster eat all de elephants.  We had a big larf about dat.
Den 8 zebwas come and say dey like to buy some new suits cos dem sick of stwipes. Me tell dem to go and see our dood fwend Unca Wick. He sell dood suits.
So we have lots of visitors to keep us company. Den Gwand-ma come home first and den she go away again and den she come back and Heidi be de butler and den my Mummy and my Gwand-da come home at last.
Luv fwom Bernie


Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Heidi get fwightened

Litta Heidi was sitting in de lounge woom wif evewybody watching dat telebishun.
She see a stowy about a bad person what get a knife and go and hurt somebody wif it.
De policeman look in de kitchen and he say "There is a knife missing. The murderer must have taken it."
Heidi jump up on de bench in our kitchen and see where our knives go in de knife fing.
She come and say "OOOh Unca Bernie Thome bad manth cometh and taketh lotth of kniveth and dem ith going to come and get uth."
Poor litta Heidi she vewy fwightened.
Bernie say "Oh don't wowwy litta Heidi. Nobody take dem knives. Dem knives is in de dwawer or maybe dem got lost." And den me give her a lick and a cuddle and she not fwightened any more.
Luv fwom Bernie



Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Oh dat a high up pantwy!

My Mummy tell me all about where de butler pantwy going to be.
She say dat in de laundwy we has a speshul cupboard for all de pussy cat fings.
She tell me where it is and it be a high up cupboard. She say Bernie is a clever pussy cat and him can jump up on dat bench. Miaowmmmmpph!
Me wants a pwoper butler pantwy.
Me going to tell Gwand-ma.
Me hope all my fwends will put a comments saying Bernie should have a pwoper butler pantwy.
Luv fwom Bernie

Dem Days goes quick

Me always has to wait until my Gwand-ma go to bed before me can wite my blog.
My Mummy say she going to get a litta 'puter for Bernie so he can wite his blog and do not have to wait for anyone. But she did not get it yet.
When she get it, me will ask her if she can take a nice pikcha of Bernie witing on his own 'puter  so we can put it on my blog.
Today was a "where dey all gone suddenly" day. We had visitors and den all of a sudden evewybody gone. My Mummy gone to School and my Gwand-da and my Gwand-ma gone to Wagga.
Oh well, me is de butler so me sits out dere on de gwass and waits for people to come home.
And Oh you know what? Me was looking in a book and it said dat Butlers should have dem own pantwy. A pantwy is where you keeps all de din dins. Dat a vewy dood idea. Bernie ask his Mummy if he will have his vewy own butler's pantwy in dat new house. She say she do not know but she is going to ask my Gwand-ma for me and she say she sure dat cos me is a vewy dood butler, me should have my vewy own butlers pantwy.
Me vewy happy.
Luv fwom Bernie

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Diffwent pussy cat language

Today litta Heidi and me meet a diffwent pussy cat.
He say "Miaow" which mean "Where is de tomato sauce"
We say "Miaow " which mean "We does not know."
Den him say "miaow" again what mean "Where is de tomato sauce"
We say "Miaow" which mean "We told you we does not know where dat tomato sauce is"
Den him say "Miaow Miaow" vewy vewy loud which mean - you knows what dat mean doesn't you? It mean "Get off my tail".
Just den our dood fwend  called Wosy wot lives next door comes along and says "Maa" Dat means "Hello" We say "Maa" back to her.
Den she say "Mow, mow, miaow" which means "Has you met this nice new pussy cat called Simon? He is a Siamese cat and he talks Siamese pussy cat language."
We say "Yes we twy to meet him but he just say "Where is the tomato sauce" and "get off my tail".
Wosy laugh and she say "No dat siamese pussy cat for Hello I am new here"
Den Wosy say "What did you say back to him?" and we tell her.
She say "Oh dear in siamese pussy cat language dat means "You has a kangaroo sitting on your head"
She tell de new Siamese pussy cat what we was twying to say and we all laughing about dat.
When we gone home litta Heidi say to me "Oh Unca Bernie, I wath very worried becauthe I do not know what tomato thauthe ith tho I do not know where it ith either."
So me pwomise her me will show her what tomato sauce is and where it lives so next time dat pussy cat say "Miaow" to her wot means "Where is the tomato sauce?" she can tell him.
Luv fwom Bernie

Dis was witten yesserday

Dis blog was weally witten yesserday.
Me being a vewy dood pussy cat. You know about dat cute litta pussy cat what lives here called Heidi? Well she do not know her name dood.
Bernie always knows his name when someone say Bernie even if dem is not calling Bernie, Bernie still know dat is his name.
Well Heidi do not know her name vewy dood so my Mummy ask me to help teach her what her name is.
Me twying vewy hard but Oh cat it is hard for a pussy cat to teach a human word. Me twying to say it but it always comes out Miaow.
Oh well dat dont matter. Me calls her miaow or mew and she knows I mean her so dat alwight.
Love fwom Bernie

Friday, 3 February 2012

A sunny waining day

Today it was a waining day but a sunny day.  Dat sky could not decide what it want to do. Bernie see dem floods on de telebishon and now we fwightened dat dem floods might come here if it keeps being a waining day. So Heidi and me look for a dood place to climb up to if dem floods come.
Some mans come wif a vewy dood fing. It is a twactor wif a litta woom on a long stick and dey lift dat litta woom up high to de top of de twees.
Dem mans was fixing de post out de fwont of our house.
Heidi say we should go and get in dat woom if a big flood come but dem mans gone away and dey take dat litta high up woom wif dem.
But it would not be a dood place because we do not know how to put our din dins bowl in dat litta woom.
Now we has to find somewhere else.
Luv fwom Bernie

Thursday, 2 February 2012

Bernie could not wite in his blog

Oh Miaow miaow,
Bernie could not wite in his blog for a vewy long long time.
Dat because my Gwand-ma go away and she turn off her 'puter.
Den Bernie find his Mummy 'puter and me wite on my blog wif dat 'puter. Den my Mummy gone away and she take her puter away.
So what Bernie do den?
Bernie twy to use Gwand-da 'puter but me do not know de password.
Me vewy sad cos me wants to wite in my blog evewy day for my dood fwend called Hughie wot is my best fwend in de whole world.
My Mummy tell me dat she will get a litta puter for Bernie to use and so me can always wite in my blog.
Dat make me vewy happy.
Luv fwom Bernie