Jaffa getting picky

Dis morning Gwand-ma get two nice clean little glass bowls out of de cupboard and put some yummy pussy cat milk in dem. Den she put one down where we eats our dindins and say "Here you are Bernie" cos Bernie gets him din dins first cos me is de boss cat.
Den she put de uvver bowl down in anuvver place near de little wine fwidge and she say "Here you are Jaffa" so Jaffa go and dwink dat one.
We bofe likes dat yummy pussy cat milk so we dwink it all up.
Den at lunch time Gwand-ma put Bernie dindins in him side of de double bowl in my pwoper dindins place and she get anuvver little single bowl and put Jaffa dindins in dat uvver place near de wine fwidge. Dat because Jaffa had a diffewent dindins to Bernie.
Now at tea time, Gwand-ma get out our dindins and put dem bofe in de double bowl and put it on our dindins mat in de yous-you-al place. Bernie start eating my dindins out of my side of de bowl but Jaffa look at hers and den she look acwoss at de uvver place in fwont of de wine fwidge and Gwand-ma has to get her dindins out of de double bowl and put it in her little single bowl and give it to her in fwont of de wine fwidge. She only had two fings to eat dere but alweady she fink dat where she always has to have her dindins.
Oh Cat is she getting picky!
Luv fwom Bernie.

Evewybody gone away

Today Gwand-ma and Gwand-da gone away too so dat means de pussy cats was on dem own.
Oh cat! (Wemember dat pussy cats say 'Oh cat' instead of 'oh boy') Oh cat! Bernie is glad dat Jaffa stay home so we can keep each uvver company and not be all on ours owns.
It was vewy quiet in de house wif evewybody gone except de quiet little pussy cats. Den Uncle Carl come and do some gardenings and we had a little talk den. Him pull out lots of weeds and den after it get dark, Gwand-ma and Gwand-da comes home and we is vewy glad cos dem bwings a chookie for dindins.
Luv fwom Bernie

Mummy gone away

Our Mummy have gone away somewhere.
Bernie and Jaffa do not wemember where she gone but Gwand-ma tell us she see Uncle Timmy and Aunty Lily. Dat is good because dem take care of our Mummy.
Bernie and Jaffa is bofe being vewy dood while our Mummy is away. We do not be norty. We just eat dindins and go to sleep. Today Jaffa was a tiny bit norty. She catch annuvver little lizard and bwing it inside to play wif. Gwand-ma pick it up and bwing it outside and put it in de garden and tell it to hide quickly so Jaffa cannot find it.
Bernie has lots of cuddles wif Gwand=da. Bernie likes Gwand-da cuddles. Us boys likes to have some dood boy time togevver.
Now me going to sleep.
Luv fwom Bernie

New Dindins

Dat norty shop do not have de dindins what Jaffa and Bernie likes so Gwand-ma has to buy a diffewent dindins. Some of de new ones is yummy so we is happy about dat.
Today Jaffa tell Bernie dat she was looking out Gwand-ma and Gwand-da bedwoom window and she see lots of birdies flying onto de bottlebwush twees and putting bem long pointy nose on dem bottlebwushes. Jaffa say "Bernie Bobsy, Do they smell very nice?"
Jaffa always call Bernie "Bernie Bobsy" Dat is her little pet name for her favouwite Bernie pussy cat. Jaffa loves and loves Bernie to bits. Me do not mind if she call me dat cos it just because she loves me.
Bernie say "Hmmm Bernie do not know if dem smell nice but dem long pointy fings is not dem nose. It is called a beak and it is a little hard pointy mouf what birdies have. Dem birdies needs a long pointy mouf because dem has to pick up seeds to eat so it be like chop sticks stuck on dem face. And sometimes dem dwink juice out of fings and so dat long pointy beak is like a little stwaw."
Jaffa say "Oh Bernie Bobsy you are so clever. How come you know so many things?" And Bernie say "Of course me knows lots of fings. After all it was Bernie what wote dat wiki fing on de puter."
Jaffa say "OOoooh I did not know that" and Bernie say "Dat quite OK. Bernie do not expect Jaffa to know all about Bernie yet cos you only been living here for about one year."
Jaffa give her Bernie Bobsy a little lick and den we goes and has a little snooze.
Luv fwom Bernie
PS Only Jaffa is allowed to call Bernie dat Bernie Bobsy name.

Dat where dem gone!

Jaffa catch lots of little lizards to play wif but dem always disappear. She do not know where dem gone.
Sometimes our Mummy get dem and put dem back outside in de garden but today my Gwand-ma and my Gwand-da find lots of dem.
Dem littel lizards wun under de carpet in de family woom. It a bootiful big purple carpet what Bernie likes to have a little snooze on in de mornings.
Dem little lizards wun unnerneaf it and you know what happen next? Someone walk on dat carpet and dem liitle lizards gets squished squashed squushed flat as a flat fing.
My Gwand-ma was sweeping de floor in de family woom and dis time she say to Gwand-da "Can you hold the sides of the carpet up so I can sweep under it a bit please?" She do not yous-you-ally do dat so dis time dey finds lots and lots of squished lizards. Bernie count 8 of dem. My Mummy say dat Jaffa is naughty and she should not bwing dose little lizards inside and she should not play wif dem. She should only play wif ping pong balls cos dem does not wun unnerneaf de carpet. Dat silly. How can ping pong balls wun anywhere? Dem has not got legs and foots or even paws. Mummy silly.
Luv fwom Bernie
PS Me still loves my Mummy even if she silly sometimes.

A Vewy Bad and Tewwible Fing

A vewy bad and tewwible fing happen. We wun out of pussy cat dindins. Oh No! Poor pussy cats! We only had one little tin left dis morning so we has to share and have only half a tin each for bweakfast. Of course we got a huge big bag of vewy yummy dwy food but dat don't count.
Anyway clever Jaffa come to de wescue.
She catch a birdie and we eat dat. Jaffa is a vewy good bird catcher. She be de same colour as de tan bark on de garden and so de birdies do not see her coming. And she jump fast and get dem. Good on ya Jaffa! Dem birdies is yummy and cwunchy.
Luv fwom Bernie

Helping wif de dindins

Evewybody knows dat when someone is cooking dindins, Bernie has to help. It is my vewy important job to taste de meat and see if it OK.
Bernie always do dat.
Bernie knows de sound of de micwo-wave oven what we put de meat in to get un fwozen.
Today Bernie was out de fwont of de house and me hear dat micwo-wave oven going. Dat means dat someone is going to cook de dindins and Bernie was not dere to help.
Bernie is a vewy vewy good pussy cat and me knows dat it is my dooty to be dere so me wun to de fwont door and meow and meow but nobody let me in. Don't dem know dat Bernie has to help? What if dat meat not nice? Dem will be vewy sowwy when dem has howwible meat cos Bernie do not taste it.
You know what me has to do? Bernie has to wun wound to de uvver side of de house and go in de cat door vewy quickly and den me jump up on de bench and wun up close to de micwo-wave and look in. Yes dere be some meat in dere getting un fwozen.
Just den Gwand-ma call my Mummy and tell her to take Bernie away while she cooking dindins. WHAT? WHAT SHE TALKIN ABOUT? SHE GONE CWACKERS! BERNIE IS SUPPOSED TO HELP!
Oh Gingies, my Mummy take me away and me nearly got a sore fwoat meowing to get out. Den in de end, after Gwand-ma nearly finished making de din dins and put it in de oven, den my Mummy let me get out and my Gwand-ma give me de little bits of meat she save for Bernie to taste. Yes dem is good so fank goodness for dat!
Luv fwom food tasting Bernie.