Claude "catting up" Heidi‏

Dear Listeners.
Dis is your ol fwend Bernie here telling you da Noos and Voos fwom DeBoos Stweet.
Yesserday Bernie was jus lookin out de back door when he see Mr. Claude, who is de orange pussy cat owned by Mr Nicklos, going into our gawage.
Now Bernie knew dat his litta fwend, Heidi, was in dat gawage cos she have a favowite place to sleep in dere.
Claude was walking in dere and swingin his hips and waving his tail like he be someone bewy important. So Bernie sneak up bewy quietly and listen just ahind dat door. Claude say "Bon jour ma cherie. and 'ow ees my little lovely today?" Heidi say "Oh hello mithter Claude. I ith dood. How ith you?" Den Claude say "Ah ma cherie! the day ees much 'appier for Monsieur Claude when 'e can see 'is little 'eideee" Heidi just do a little pussy giggle. and so Claude keeps on talkin to her like dat.He say "Ah c'est tres chaud ma cherie n'est-ce pas?" and Heidi say "wot dat meanth Mithter Claude?" So Claude say "It is very 'ot my sweet'eart, is it not?" Den Heidi shows Mr. Claude dat she is a bewy cleber pussy cat cos she say "Well of courthe it ith hot Mithter Claude. Dat ith becauthe of the weather!"
Den dat Mr Claude twy to show off to her. He say "Ah ma cherie! You know that your Claudey Claudey can do sometheeng about thees 'ot weatheeeaaar" Heidi just look at him cos she wunderin de same as Mr. Bernie. "How someone change de weather?" Den dat Monsieur Claude say, "I veeel speak to my valet, Monsieur Nicholaaas and I will ask 'eeem if 'e could get the weather fwom someone else in de future. If he could get it fwom someone who does not 'ave such 'ot weather."
"Ooooh Meow" says litta Heidi "Oooh you ith thuch a cleber puthy Monthieur Claude"
Bernie notice dat Claude is gettin bewy close to litta Heidi so Bernie walk in dat gawage door and say "Huwwo my dood fwend Mr. Claude. I see you is gettin bewy fwendly wif my litta Heidi." Claude get a big fwight. He jump up an say "Mieow mieow mais oui mon ami.... er I mean Oh yes my friend. I was just discussing the weather with thees dear little creature 'ere" Well den, say Mr. Bernie, "Why doesn't you come wif Bernie and he will show you a dood place to west in da shade."
Claude look at Heidi and den at Bernie and den back at Heidi. Heidi was settling down to have a litta cat nap on her favowite spot in de gawage so Claude come out wif Bernie.
When we outside, Bernie stand up bewy tall and say to dat Claude "Well ol chap. As de guardian of dat bootiful litta pussy tat, I must ask you if you has dood intentions toward her? "
Claude get a bit flusterated and he say "Mais oui ... Oh yes your Baronship. My intentions are totally honourable" Den Bernie frown at Mr. Claude and say "Baron Bernard must ask dis important question. " Has you had dat snip?" and Mr Claude face go a stwange gween colour and he say "Gulp glurg oui. Monsieur Claude 'as 'ad de 'snip' as you put it" But Bernie still keep fwowning and he say "An is your injekshuns up to date?" Claude say "Oh yes yes mais oui my best friend Baron Bernard. My injections are certainly up to date.": Bernie say "An your worming and flea control?" and Claude say " But of course Monsieur."
"Hmmmm " says me - dat is Bernie...."If you had dat snip, how comes you is showing speshul interwest in Heidi? Pussy cats wot has had da snip is not supposed to be interwested in girl pussy cats"
"Ummm " says Mr. Claude "That may be ze truth afteeer all my good Baron but Monsieur Le Claude ees a french pussy cat and you know 'ow ze french are always interested in romance, even when they may not persue it too far."
"Well," says me, "dat is OK den." an we shakes our paws on it.